


The Heart of Darkness is the Hope of Finding You There

by xiuminlover666



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dark, Disturbing Themes, Ghosts, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Insidious 2 if that's any indication of where this is going, It's not horrific but I just want to be safe, M/M, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Psychological Horror, Supernatural Elements, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiuminlover666/pseuds/xiuminlover666
Summary: Jongdae says he loves me.Jongdae says he loves me.Jongdae says he loves me.Then why am I so afraid?Minseok knew they never should have gone in that house because Jongdae hasn't been the same ever since.





	1. Lights Out

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I know nothing about the town mentioned in here, I just found it on google. This interpretation is purely fictional and based on my limited knowledge of life. This is in no way a commentary on politics or anything to do with South Korea and China.

“Jongdae? Where’s the couch?”

Minseok had just returned home from his second job on a particularly chilly winter’s day to find that the dilapidated sofa was gone from the middle of the living room.

The apartment was situated in such a way that as soon as he walked through the front door he came into the small kitchen. To the left of the kitchen was the door leading to the bedroom and bathroom. The open area in between the kitchen and the front and bedroom doors served as the living room and the dining area and the laundry drying area and any other type of room that it needed to be. There was now a gaping wide space where the sofa had once been.

Jongdae was sitting in the corner front of the bedroom at the small desk in the corner next to his keyboard. He quickly gathered up the papers that littered the floor and smiled at Minseok before hurrying over to hug him. He smelt faintly of the cheap coffee they bought, but it Minseok preferred it to the smell of cigarettes as he pressed his nose against Jongdae’s neck. Jongdae was on a strong streak of going five months without smoking. But Minseok, as happy as he was to see Jongdae after such a long day, was bothered by the absence of the couch.

 “It’s a long story but I sold it to one of my co-workers for much more than what it was worth,” Jongdae said with a smile.

Minseok took in the appearance of his messy hair and oversized jersey. It had been his jersey but Jongdae had claimed it as his own about a year ago and Minseok hardly minded. Never in his life could he recall being seriously annoyed with Jongdae, and he certainly wasn’t annoyed with him now, but he pursed his lips.

 “Um, why? As ugly as what it was we still used it,” Minseok said.  
 “I thought we could use the extra money,” Jongdae said with a shrug and his smiled faded slightly. Now any fragment of annoyance that had been creeping into Minseok was quickly extinguished.

Minseok and Jongdae had been living in the small town of Jishou for three months now and their financial situation was just as worrying as they day they had moved into the tiny apartment.

When Jongdae had received an offer for a contract job as a translator in China, both he and Minseok had been elated. As they had recently graduated from university, Minseok with a degree in architecture and Jongdae with a degree in linguistics and Mandarin studies, they had been in a state of limbo in terms of figuring out what to do with their lives. Minseok could only actually get a job once he had post-graduate qualifications but he didn’t have the money to study. Jongdae’s job offer had allowed for him to bring with one family member who would also be guaranteed a job on behalf of the company.

Initially Minseok had been very reluctant when Jongdae had proposed that they pretend to be cousins and go together. They had never lived together in the course of their relationship and Minseok knew it was a huge step. But the prospect of a job was too great an opportunity to ignore, especially as he was finding difficulty in finding one in Seoul, so Minseok had taken a leap of faith and followed Jongdae to China.

The company worked in accordance with the local university where Jongdae worked and the job they had given Minseok was that of an assistant in the university’s library. The problem was that Minseok could hardly speak or read Mandarin and was thus only able to sort books via their call numbers rather than working at the desk or in administration.

While the company had paid for their flights and transport, they had placed them in a very small apartment that had only been furnished with the bare minimum. Then they had informed Jongdae that he and Minseok had to pay back the money that had been spent on them. So a regular fee would be taken off their salaries every month to cover those costs. Seeing as Minseok was trying to save money for studying, Jongdae had to use the rest of his salary to pay for rent and other living costs. Minseok felt incredibly guilty so he had quickly found a part-time job working at a restaurant. Due to the communication barrier he had been resigned to cleaning and anything else that no one else wanted to do. It was tiring and only ended at eight, but Minseok never complained because it meant that they were able to eat decently and pay for other living expenses.

Jongdae took out a tin from the kitchen cabinet that served as a small pantry and took out a large wad of notes.  
 “I think this’ll look nice in your savings account,” he said as he placed the wad in Minseok’s hand. He stared at it in disbelief for a moment and quickly shook his head.

 “Jongdae, I can’t take all of it!” he said. “You sold it so you should also take some.”  
 “It’s for you, Minseok,” he said. He clasped his hands around Minseok’s. “You work two jobs. This is the only thing I can do for you.”  
Minseok saw guilt creeping into his eyes and he quickly squeezed his hands.  
 “Please don’t feel bad. Thank you, Jongdae. I’ll go to the bank first thing tomorrow.” He put the money back in the tin and stowed it away.

 “I made soup. Sit down,” Jongdae said, the usual brightness back in his voice.

Minseok repressed a sigh as he sat down and felt the aches in his feet. He watched Jongdae dishing up food from a pot on the stove. As he had been home since late afternoon the apartment was clean and dinner had been prepared in advance.

“How was work?” Jongdae asked.  
“Tiring but alright. Is the heating still not working properly? It’s getting colder by the day.” he replied.  
Jongdae gave him a warm bowl of soup and gently touched him on the shoulder.  
 “As for that, I spoke to the landlord but apparently if they send someone to look at it then we’ll have to pay,” he said as he sat down across from Minseok.  
 “It’s fine. We have enough blankets,” he said through a mouthful of food.

He was immensely grateful that Jongdae was responsible and always cleaned the apartment and had food ready for when Minseok returned from work. Their heating didn’t work properly and as it was the depths of winter they had to make do with layers of clothes and blankets. Minseok thought he shouldn’t complain because at least the geyser was still working for the time being. If the heating was entirely broken then they would have frozen to death long ago so he thought he shouldn’t complain too much.

 “How is it? I actually just threw in yesterday’s leftovers,” Jongdae said.  
 “It’s good,” Minseok said honestly. “Thank God the university gives us lunch, though. It saves us some money.”  
Jongdae nodded in agreement though he looked rather weary.  
 “I feel like we talk about money so often,” he sighed. “It’s depressing.”

Minseok wanted to say that things would get better. He wanted to reassure Jongdae that it wasn’t his fault and that their financial issues were out of their control. But he couldn’t because he had no idea if it would get better. They had never admitted it to each other but they were both very anxious about money. Minseok knew that when Jongdae thought he was asleep he would stay up with a notebook and a calculator and would meticulously organise their budget.

 “How’s the song going?” Minseok asked in an effort to change the subject. Jongdae sighed and shook his head.  
 “It’s not going anywhere,” he said. “I have a block.”  
Minseok reached across the table and took his hand as it was the only comfort he could offer him.

Jongdae’s true dream was to become a songwriter and singer. He and their mutual friend Chanyeol had plans to start their own studio and create music together. Chanyeol had to work until he had acquired enough money to even think about the idea and he had thus been very supportive of Jongdae’s decision to work abroad.

 “You’ll pull through it,” Minseok said softly. “You’re so talented, Jongdae.”  
 “I’m not,” he said shyly. Minseok playfully nudged him with his foot under the table.  
 “Don’t argue. It’s true,” he said.

He finished his food and Jongdae started washing the dishes as he knew Minseok got more than enough of it at work.

Minseok watched him fondly for a while. He thought that had Jongdae been anyone else in their situation then they wouldn’t have lasted long, but Jongdae was resilient. While he was endearingly whiny, Jongdae had never complained about their apartment or finances. There had even been one evening when they’d had to share a cup of instant noodles for dinner and Jongdae had made the best of it by lighting a candle and building a blanket fort over where they slept on the floor as they hadn’t been able to buy a bed yet.

Minseok felt his heart swell with affection at the memory and he silently came up behind Jongdae and wrapped his arms around him. He jumped and dropped the bowl in the water.

 “You scared me,” he laughed. Minseok tightened his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder.  
 “I’m really proud of you, you know that?” he said softly.  
 “Why?” he scoffed. “The food wasn’t that great.”  
 “I’m proud because you managed to get us both jobs and an apartment in another country and we’ve only starved once,” Minseok said. “Also, you mustn’t forget about all the other songs you have on your computer.”

Their apartment had no internet so Jongdae had been unable to use the software he used to compose music and had to make do with his keyboard and paper.

 “I’m happy you didn’t dump me and fly back to Korea,” Jongdae said quietly. He was no longer smiling.  
 “I would never do that, Jongdae,” Minseok said sternly. He nuzzled his nose against his neck. “Don’t be silly. I love you too much to do that.”

Jongdae abandoned the dishes and turned around in Minseok’s arms and kissed him. 

 “I love you too,” he murmured against his lips. Minseok pushed him against the sink to kiss him back but Jongdae lost his grip on the edge of the sink and his hands slipped into the water.  
 “Minseok!” he groaned loudly. “Ugh!”

He flung a piece of wet cabbage at Minseok and it hit him square in the forehead. He retaliated by grabbing Jongdae’s arms and forcing him to wipe his wet hands all over his face. He had always been much stronger than him and he laughed over his incoherent noises as they wrestled. Only when they slipped and nearly fell over in a heap did he realise that there was more water on the floor and on each other than in the sink.

After cleaning up, both Minseok and Jongdae huddled closely together in bed beneath layers of blankets. 

 “We don’t really need a couch anyway,” Minseok said. “It’s not like we have TV.”  
 “Maybe we can get a nice carpet or something,” Jongdae said with a yawn. “Like real adults.”  
 “We are real adults, aren’t we?” Minseok laughed. Jongdae pressed closer to his side and wrapped an arm around his middle.  
 “We can pretend,” Jongdae murmured.

A comfortable silence fell over them. The bed and small cupboard took up most of the room. The bed just fit from the one wall to the other and Minseok had to climb over the mattress to get to the other side. The space between the bed and the wall with the one and only window was filled with their suitcases and other some empty boxes.

Minseok glanced at the window. They had yet to buy curtains but he preferred being able to see the moon and night sky. As it was a small town they had a nice view of the mountains surrounding them. The nights were incredibly quiet and as it was winter there wasn’t even the sound of night insects.

Suddenly Jongdae gasped and sat up, making Minseok jump. He scrambled off the bed and out the room, only to return a second later with his notebook and pen.

 “Minseok, keep still like that,” he said. As confused as he was Minseok remained lying against the pillow with his arm above his head.  
 “Are you drawing me?” he asked with a laugh. “Has it really come to this?”  
 “You’re too pretty for me to draw,” Jongdae said. “I’m just adding on some lyrics.”

Minseok kicked him but his brows were furrowed in intense concentration as he wrote. He loved seeing Jongdae being passionate about his music. He would often stay up late working on a song, or would wake up in the middle of the night filled with inspiration. Minseok was extremely flattered and embarrassed that he was sometimes the object of his inspiration. He hadn’t seen him like this in a while and it made him smile.

 “Okay, this has been in my head for a while. I’ve got a few lines,” he said thoughtfully. He cleared his throat. 

“When even breathing  
Feels hard  
And tears rise up  
Sometimes  
You can hide in me and cry  
You can do that  
Because it’ll pass.”

Though he sang softly his voice was still strong and it never failed to make Minseok smile every time. He’d never had a day of vocal training and yet he sounded like a professional singer.

 “Why is it so sad?” Minseok asked, sitting up. “Come back. It’s cold.”  
Jongdae got under the duvet but he looked intent on composing.  
 “It’ll have a happy ending,” he said. He hummed a little melody and then scribbled something down. Minseok moved closer to him and tried to see what he had written on the page.  
 “No peeking!”  
 “Then go to sleep,” Minseok said.  
 “In a minute.”

* * *

Minseok fell asleep long before Jongdae and when his alarm went off at five o’clock he saw that Jongdae had fallen asleep with the notebook on his chest. Minseok yawned and swiftly climbed over Jongdae to get out of bed. He was always the first to get up while Jongdae tried to hide under the duvet for an extra few minutes.

 “Wake up,” he said as he came back to the room with a cup of coffee. Jongdae opened his eyes and yawned.  
 “God, it’s still dark outside,” he mumbled. Minseok placed the cup on the cluttered bedside table and Jongdae suddenly grabbed him by his hips and yanked him onto the bed.

 “Jongdae!” Minseok exclaimed as he had nearly sent the cup flying. He collapsed on top of Jongdae in a tangle of limbs. He gave Minseok a mischievous smirk and slipped his warm hands underneath his shirt and pulled him closer against his body.

 “I wish I could stay in bed with you all day,” he said softly. Minseok gently ran his fingers through Jongdae’s hair, making it stand up in ten different directions. He loved being so close to him that he could see himself reflected in his dark curved eyes. Minseok’s delicate silver necklace dangled between them and Jongdae tilted his head up to press his lips against the chain and Minseok’s throat. It was the most valuable thing Minseok owned as Jongdae had given it to him for his birthday. 

“It’s nearly the weekend,” he replied. “Then we can stay in bed as long as we like.”

But Jongdae’s hands were insistent and impatient against his skin.  He started peppering his throat with light kisses and Minseok knew that he also didn’t want to leave his embrace anytime soon.

A while later Minseok and Jongdae sprinted out their apartment, hair tousled and cheeks flushed, just in time to catch their bus.  

 “You’re the worst,” Minseok muttered under his breath as they took their usual seats at the back. Jongdae smirked at him.  
 “You’re one to talk,” he replied. “If I remember correctly you took off _my_ shirt.”  
 “Shush!” Minseok hissed, glancing around even though he knew no one knew what they were saying.

While they were no strangers to keeping their relationship to themselves, they had to be especially cautious in Jishou seeing as they were masquerading as cousins. It didn’t bother Minseok seeing as they were both too shy for public displays of affection, save for the odd night out in Seoul with Baekhyun and Chanyeol, but it was just a constant thought in the back of his mind.

As their jobs ended at the same time, they would usually just spend time together until it was time for Minseok to go to his second job.

Minseok stuck close to Jongdae as they meandered through the supermarket shopping for groceries. 

 “Can you go ask for some fish?” Jongdae said over his shoulder to Minseok while he was selecting fruit. Minseok bit his lip but nodded and reluctantly walked away from Jongdae.

Their shopping processes were usually slow because Jongdae had to do basically everything as Minseok couldn’t read a single character on anything. But now he was rather occupied in asking about the fresh produce and Minseok didn’t want to just stand there like a child.

He stood in front of the frozen fish while fiddling with his fingers. When the fishmonger approached him all he could do was smile hesitantly and point at the fish. He spoke but Minseok had no idea what he was saying. 

 "Sorry, I can’t speak Mandarin,” he said quietly. It was one of the only phrases he knew. Jongdae had taught him basic greetings and emergency phrases but that was it.

The man raised his eyebrows slightly and Minseok felt guilty. He then moved his hands over the fish as if measuring it. Minseok assumed that he was asking him how much he wanted.

He hoped that he was estimating correctly when he spaced his hands about fifteen centimetres apart and the man nodded. He watched as he cut up the fish and wrapped it up.

 “This is too much,” Jongdae said with a laugh when Minseok returned to him.  
 “Sorry,” he said, feeling slightly guilty. Now Jongdae would have to pay more.  
 “Well, rather too much than too little,” he said brightly.

They parted ways with waves and Minseok hunched his shoulders against the cold air as he walked.

The restaurant was particularly busy that evening and as a result they were running low on plates so Minseok had to wash and dry them at the speed of light.

A plate slipped from his wet hands and landed on the floor with a crash. Minseok froze and held his breath. The kitchen was so busy that initially no one heard it, but then his co-workers around him stopped what they were doing to look for the source of the noise. Before he could attempt to do anything, someone appeared out of nowhere with a broom and dustpan and started cleaning it up. Minseok recognised him as one of the quieter workers. His shifts weren’t as regular as Minseok’s but when he was there he kept to himself and no one else spoke to him. However he had always given Minseok a genuinely warm dimpled smile.

Minseok was about to stop him before their boss was suddenly upon him. All he could do was gape as he shouted at the other man in rapid Mandarin. Minseok had no idea what he was saying but he was grateful to not be on the receiving end. If he was able to communicate then he certainly would have stepped in, but he knew that it wouldn’t be wise to attempt his usual haphazard sign language with his angry boss at the moment.

The man merely accepted his scolding on the floor with a bowed head as he cleaned. When their boss finally stormed off Minseok quickly crouched down beside him.

 “Sorry,” he said. It was one of the few words he knew. “I’m sorry.”  
He looked up at Minseok and he shook his head.  
 “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t want to see you get in trouble,” he said in perfectly clear Korean and Minseok gaped at him. 

 “You speak Korean?” he exclaimed and his smile widened.  
 “Yes. I’m Zhang Yixing, by the way,” he said with a small bow of his head.  
 “Kim Minseok,” he replied eagerly. It had been so long since had spoken with someone who wasn’t Jongdae.

He helped Yixing clean up the shards of porcelain before returning to his station at the sink. 

 “I’ve never spoken to you before because, well…” Minseok said sheepishly.  
 “It’s alright, I understand,” Yixing said kindly. “You seemed very shy so I didn’t approach you.”

A waiter approached and Minseok quickly handed him a pile of dishes. He regarded Yixing with narrowed eyes before leaving.  
 “I’m not from Jishou,” Yixing said. “I’m from Changsha. I’ve lived here for a year now.”   
 “Where did you learn Korean?” Minseok asked. He was trying to contain his eagerness but he really didn’t know anyone other than Jongdae so it was very refreshing for him to be able to speak to someone.  
 “I was an exchange student in Seoul,” Yixing said brightly. “I really enjoyed it there.”

Minseok and Yixing were soon happily chatting away while they worked and for the first time since working there the shift went by quickly. Yixing was incredibly kind, although he did seem rather scatter-brained as he had misplaced he mop, but Minseok found him very likeable.

When he got home that night Jongdae greeted him with a hearty dinner. Minseok told him about Yixing but then he wished he hadn’t because it resulted in him bringing up a topic he preferred avoiding.

 “You really should learn some Mandarin, Minseok,” he said. “We’re going to be here for over a year.”  
 “It’s difficult,” Minseok said, looking intently at his food.

Jongdae had tried to teach him several times but it had resulted in a few frustrated arguments and had decided to forget it for the sake of their relationship.

Minseok had never been good at languages. The fact that he was painfully shy meant that he would most likely never be able to practice a language in a real setting with native speakers so he thought that it wasn’t worth the time and effort anyway.

 “Yes, but if you put your mind to it then you’ll see that anyone can do it,” Jongdae said calmly. Minseok fiddled with his cutlery and pursed his lips, still avoiding Jongdae’s gaze.

He really hated the discussion. It made him feel incredibly useless and frustrated because Jongdae was too stubborn to just let him be.

 “I already know the important things to say and that’s all that matters,” he said with a tone of finality. Jongdae looked as though he wanted to say more but held it back and Minseok was grateful.

 “Anyways, I found a place where we can get cheap furniture,” Jongdae said. Minseok looked up with interest.  
 “Really? Where?” he asked.  
 “I heard some students talking about it today,” Jongdae said and he sat forward. There was a glint in his eye that Minseok associated with acts of mischief often committed with Baekhyun when they were younger. 

 “On the edge of town by the woods there’s an abandoned house,” Jongdae said and Minseok raised his eyebrows.  
 “It’s not just some crusty old house!” Jongdae exclaimed. “It’s only been abandoned recently, and the family was really rich so apparently people all go there to find cool stuff.”

Minseok didn’t know how to react. He pursed his lips.  
 “Jongdae…isn’t that stealing?”  
 “No one owns it,” he said quickly. “And everyone does it so it’s not some taboo thing. The students aren’t troublemakers. They’ve gone there on dares and stuff and have picked up some cool things.”  
 “Just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s right,” Minseok muttered.  
 “You sound like my mother,” Jongdae scoffed. Minseok knew that he was joking but that stung him slightly but he quickly brushed it aside. 

 “We should get something to replace the sofa.”  
 “Okay, and if we manage to find a clean couch that isn’t infested with cockroaches then how must we haul it back here?” Minseok asked and crossed his arms. Jongdae stroked his chin thoughtfully.  
 “I suppose we really don’t need a couch…but we need some sort of sitting thing.”

He got up to dish up some more rice and at that moment there was a sudden spark from the plug that the rice cooker was plugged into. Jongdae jumped and scattered a few grains.  
 “We definitely need a new rice cooker,” Jongdae said.  
 “It always does that,” Minseok sighed. “It’s not the plug because it doesn’t spark when the kettle’s plugged in.”  
He suddenly felt rather regretful at his words when Jongdae smirked. Minseok raised an eyebrow.  
 “Don’t tell me you think that this house has a perfectly usable rice cooker for us.”  
 “We’ll only know if we check it out so let’s go.”

He started gathering their plates and washing them and Minseok was slightly stunned. 

 “Right now?” he asked.  
 “Well, when else? We shouldn’t wait for the rice cooker to short-circuit and burn down the apartment,” he said. Minseok bit his lip.  
 “It’s dark,” he muttered with a glance at the window.  
 “I think it’ll be better if we do it under cover of night,” Jongdae said.

Minseok could hardly believe what he was hearing. 

 “Jongdae…this seems really stupid,” he said. “We could get caught by someone.” Jongdae turned around to frown at him.  
 “Minseok, would I really lead us into doing anything like that?” he said. “Desperate times call for desperate matters and we desperately need a new rice cooker.”

Every shred of Minseok’s logic was telling him that it was a ridiculous idea to break into an abandoned house and pilfer appliances. But if living in Jishou had taught him anything it was that they certainly weren’t above living frugally and so he was soon putting on his thick jacket and shoes and following Jongdae out the building and into the cold winter night.

It wasn’t that far to walk considering it was a small town, and Minseok hardly knew the town other than his commute from home to work or the shops so he was blindly following Jongdae. The town was exceptionally quiet at night and they didn’t pass another person as they walked.

 “I worked on some more verses today,” Jongdae said eagerly, his breath misting in front of him.  
 “Oh? Sing some for me,” Minseok said. He was walking with his hands under his armpits because it really was far too cold to be outside.

Jongdae sang the verse he had sung last night with the addition of two more.

“Fall asleep in my arms  
Don’t wake up  
Morning will come again  
So you can peacefully dream  
At the end of this loneliness  
Just turn off the lights today

When you lift your head  
Smile for me  
So you can forget your pain  
So you can fall asleep  
With the small  
But precious memories.”

Minseok stopped in his tracks on the pavement and stared at Jongdae in awe.

 “What?” he asked with raised eyebrows. Minseok abandoned all cautions and threw his arms around Jongdae’s neck and kissed him hard on the cheek.  
 “Your voice is so beautiful!” he exclaimed. He quickly stepped away from Jongdae and laughed at his embarrassment.  
 “The lyrics are beautiful too,” Minseok said. “It would be nice if you could work with Chanyeol and actually record it.”  
 “Ah, I wish,” Jongdae said. “He’s also working a hectic job, but at least he still lives with his parents so he doesn’t have to worry about rent or anything.”  
 “He practically lives with Baekhyun, though,” Minseok said with a laugh.  
 “I miss them a lot,” Jongdae sighed. “Oh, I think this is it!”

They came to a stop at the end of the street. It certainly was the edge of town because the houses gave way to dense woods and the road led out of town. The woods were incredibly dense and in the darkness it appeared as an endless stretch of black nothingness.

The house was nothing short of a mansion and Minseok regarded it warily as it loomed over them. The doors and windows were bordered up. The only light was from the moon high above them. Minseok could hardly see any features of the house other than it was tall and probably had at least three stories.

 “Come on,” Jongdae said as he took his hand and led him onto the property.

The grass nearly came to Minseok's waist and they had to wade through it to get to the steps that led up to the front door. Jongdae started to fiddle with the doorknob and Minseok glanced around anxiously as if the police were about to pop out the grass at any second.

 “Careful of splinters,” he said to Jongdae. Most of the boards nailed over the door had been removed but it soon creaked open and Jongdae climbed over the remaining boards and through the doorway.

Minseok was incredibly apprehensive as he manoeuvred his way through the boards and into the house. It was so dark that he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face. Jongdae turned on the flashlight on his phone and closed the door behind him.

 “See? The house is still in a pretty good condition,” he said as he shone the light around. Minseok could see that they stood in a foyer that was still intact. The wallpaper was peeling slightly and there was a thick layer of dust on everything but otherwise the house didn’t look entirely abandoned. But there was now a sense of dread pooling in his stomach when he looked down the dark corridor and he felt that he did not want to venture any further into the house.

 “What if there’s drug addicts living in here or something?” Minseok whispered.  
 “I don’t think it would still look like this,” Jongdae replied. “And people often come here on dares and stuff.”  
That didn’t reassure Minseok at all. He held Jongdae’s hand tightly as they started to walk down the corridor.

The light showed glimpses of the interior and Minseok saw flashes of stranger’s faces and dusty landscape paintings. It was a European style house and Minseok thought that it must have been very lavish in its heyday. When he saw their shadowy reflections in a mirror he jumped and clung tighter to Jongdae’s arm. It was a mark of their friendship and relationship that he didn’t laugh at him.

They came to an area that led to a staircase and more darkness on either side of them. Jongdae led Minseok to the left and they came into a large tiled kitchen that was incredibly cold. It felt like he had walked into a freezer.

Jongdae shone the light around to reveal that most of it was still very much intact. The tiles weren’t even chipped and their shoes left footprints in the dust. Minseok forced himself not to sneeze because something in his mind told him not to make such a sudden sound. There was a gaping space where the fridge had once been but the counters and cupboards were untouched.

 “Jongdae!” Minseok hissed when he reached forward to open the largest cupboard. He expected a colony of rats or cockroaches to burst out of it but all he saw was dusty crockery.  
 “See? Don’t worry, Minseok,” Jongdae said as he started opening other cupboards.

Minseok withheld a remark about how there was in fact a lot to worry about. He clung close to Jongdae as they moved around the kitchen searching for a rice cooker but there were no appliances. The way in which the cutlery and crockery had been left in neatly organised piles and positions made Minseok feel very uneasy for some reason. If it were not for the dust and missing electrical appliances then he would have guessed that the family still lived in the house. He thought it strange that there were no cobwebs or insects or any indication of any living creature.

To his utter dismay Jongdae led him back through the house to the other side opposite the kitchen. 

 “Let’s leave,” he whispered. “There’s nothing for us anyway.”  
 “Aren’t you curious, Minseok?” Jongdae said with some barely contained excitement. They were standing in the parlour that he supposed once would have been used to receive guests. It was modestly decorated but the armchairs and low tables looked as though they had been expensive and carved from some rare and exotic wood.

Minseok could not take his eyes off the fireplace. It was nearly as tall as he was and the empty mouth was like a gaping black hole. Jongdae was looking at some dusty books on a table with interest. Minseok was starting to get impatient.

 “It’s cold,” he said. Jongdae stopped combing through the yellowed pages of the books and his eyes drifted up to the ceiling.  
 “I just want to take a quick look upstairs,” he said. “Then I promise we can go.”  
 “Jongdae, this place is creepy,” Minseok muttered as Jongdae beckoned to follow him.  
 “But you don’t believe in ghosts,” he said with a smile. Minseok was finding it very difficult to be affected by his bright demeanour because he had an unexplainable sense of anxiety welling up inside him. He realised that he had not heard the sound of anything other than each other since entering the house and it made him even more unsettled.

The wide staircase was incredibly creaky as they ascended and they left footprints on the wood. It came out to a wide landing and the walls were covered with more portraits. Minseok avoided looking at them because it felt as though their eyes were following him. He briefly wondered how many people had lived here and where they had gone and why they had left the house intact.  

“The students said a very wealthy family used to live here, but there was some tragedy or something and they died. No one really knows what happened,” Jongdae said, having noticed Minseok’s slight curiosity, as they walked down the corridor from the landing.

Minseok frowned at him. 

 “Then why are we here? Jongdae, I don’t believe in much but there are some places you just shouldn’t go to,” he said.  
 “Oh, then what about that time we went to that graveyard in middle school?” he asked with a small laugh.  
 “That was in middle school,” Minseok muttered. He didn’t really feel like playful reminiscing. This was far more serious than some adolescent boys scaring each other in a graveyard.

They entered what had once been a bedroom and Minseok saw that nothing had been touched. The four-post bed was untouched as were all the bottles and assorted things on the dressing table. The hangings were drawn around the bed and Minseok felt that he did not want to turn his back to it. It was as if the inhabitants of the house had just gotten up and left never to return. The thought made his hair stand on end.

Jongdae went to peer out into the corridor, making as if to look in the other numerous bedrooms and Minseok felt his patience thinning. He was about to speak when there was suddenly a loud creak from the ceiling above him and he jumped.

 “Do you think there’s an attic?” Jongdae said curiously. Minseok frowned at him.  
 “Jongdae, this is ridiculous. Please can we go?” he said insistently. He saw a look of disappointment creeping into Jongdae’s face and he made a sound of frustration.

Jongdae had always been spontaneous to the point of recklessness while Minseok was the total opposite. While Jongdae was much calmer and more responsible with Minseok, he still had an untamed mischievous side that had always been fuelled by Baekhyun and Chanyeol while Minseok had been left to clean up the messes they made.

 “I thought you would have liked a little excursion,” Jongdae said with a slight frown. His lips naturally curled up so Minseok absolutely hated seeing him frown. He especially hated it when he was the cause of his frown.  
 “We haven’t gone out in ages,” he said.

Minseok felt his expression soften slightly. They spent their weekends either resting inside or wandering around the town without actually doing anything.  
 “Jongdae, we’ve both been busy. And I doubt that this is anyone’s idea of a cute date.”  
 “Chanyeol and Baekhyun do these kinds of things,” he said.

Minseok suddenly felt a surge of irritation surge through him. He was tired and cold and rather scared at the moment and the last thing he wanted to hear was Jongdae complaining about their relationship.

 “Then go date them,” he snapped. “I’m going home.” He turned around and stormed down the dark corridor but he had only taken three steps before realising that Jongdae had the light.  
 “Minseok, I didn’t mean it like that!” he cried, grabbing Minseok’s arm and turning him around.

But something like a cold shadow had settled over Minseok’s heart and he found himself looking deeply into Jongdae’s words and he let them prick at his emotions like sharp thorns.

He thought back to the other day when Jongdae had accidentally washed the dark clothing and white clothing and had turned several things grey. But Minseok hadn’t been annoyed at all at the time and had merely shrugged it off.

Minseok remembered when he had spent so long on the phone with Baekhyun that he’d run up an exorbitant bill. He saw the slight frown in Jongdae’s face but he’d said nothing.

He thought of the last attempt at a Mandarin lesson. Jongdae had released a small sigh of frustration and that had been enough for Minseok to slam the books shut. But he hadn’t shouted or cried. They had shared a few curt words but nothing more.

He thought of every single moment of frustration or annoyance that had happened in the past three months and it was like a fiery itch spreading over his body making him angry. He thought of how little money they had and how much had to be spent on bills and compensation costs and food.

He thought of how Jongdae had said he reminded him of his mother.

 “No, just admit that I’m too boring for you,” he said in a hard voice. Jongdae looked taken aback.  
 “I didn’t say that,” he said. “What’s wrong with you?”

Minseok pulled his hand out of his grasp and took a step back but Jongdae stepped closer. 

 “We’ll go now, alright? Do you want to talk about something?” he asked anxiously. Minseok shook his head and remained silent. Jongdae grabbed his hand and lead him back to the staircase. But as soon as Minseok felt his soft hand in his he felt confused.

A sudden wave of nausea overcame him and he stumbled over his own feet. 

 “Minseok? What’s wrong?”  
It felt as though his vision was swimming and he gripped the side of his head. The cold sensation of anger that he’d felt in the corridor suddenly disappeared and he felt horrified.  
 “Jongdae – I – don’t know what came over me,” he stuttered. “I feel weird. I’m sorry - ”  
 “It’s fine we’ll talk later. Let’s just get out of here,” Jongdae said quickly.

Jongdae took a step forward to shine the light of the phone ahead of them. Suddenly there was a sharp creaking sound and Jongdae’s foot plunged through the wooden stair and he fell.

“JONGDAE!”

But he phone flew out of his hand and Minseok was plunged into darkness and all he could do was listen to Jongdae crashing down the stairs.


	2. Sweet Dreams

Minseok sat bent over Jongdae’s bed with his face buried in his arms. The lighting of the hospital room was cold and bright and penetrated through his closed lids.

Finding Jongdae in the darkness and dragging him out the house had been traumatic enough, but Minseok had had to steady his nerves and use his lacking Mandarin skills to phone for an ambulance. As he had no idea where they were all he could do was try to explain the house in a mixture of English and Korean.

Now he had been at the hospital for over an hour feeling completely lost and fretful. Luckily one of the hospital staff was a volunteer intern from the university and spoke Korean, so she had been used as an impromptu interpreter for Minseok. Explaining the situation to the doctors was one thing, but the police had been an entirely different matter. He had insisted that they were in the house purely for the purpose of a dare because he could not bear to think of what would happen if the police thought they had been stealing.

 “Minseok?”

His voice was just above a whisper but Minseok jumped up with a gasp to see Jongdae blinking at him in confusion. He gingerly moved his fingers to feel the thick bandage wrapped around his head and he winced.

 “Jongdae! Oh, my God,” he gasped. “How are you feeling?”  
 “Sick,” he said. “And really sore.”  
 “You have a concussion,” Minseok said. He grabbed his hand and held it tightly. Now he felt so much more relieved that Jongdae was awake though he was still worried for his wellbeing.  
 “What happened? I can’t remember,” he asked slowly.  
 “You fell down the stairs and hit your head pretty badly,” Minseok said. He shuddered at the memory of seeing Jongdae’s bleeding head in the bright light of his phone.  
 “Where?” he asked.  
Minseok furrowed his brows.  
 “What do you mean? It was at that godforsaken house,” he said.

Now Jongdae looked incredibly confused and Minseok felt himself becoming anxious.  
 “Don’t you remember?” he asked.  
 “I remember us leaving the apartment for something,” Jongdae said. He tried to sit up but he winced from the pressure of moving his head.  
 “I’ll explain it to you at home. Let me talk to the doctors,” Minseok said quickly.

He went to call the doctor and he was relieved that Jongdae was able to communicate with him. He watched them anxiously as they conversed before he left the room.

 “Well? Can we go?” Minseok asked. Jongdae looked very weary.  
 “You have to settle the bill first,” he said and he avoided Minseok’s eyes.

Minseok had already come to terms with the fact that the costs would be expensive so he brushed aside Jongdae’s statement.  
 “What about the police? Are they going to come back?”  
Jongdae shook his head, wincing again from the movement.  
 “Right. I’ll go pay then,” Minseok said as he stood up. He was just very anxious to get out the hospital and take Jongdae home so he hardly heard his small noise of protest as he left the room.

It pained him slightly to have to use money from his savings account to cover the bill, but he did not want to get into any debt or have to pay it off monthly. He didn’t need any other worries and wanted to get it over with.

After a few more check-ups the nurses discharged Jongdae. Minseok had to keep him steady and walk incredibly slowly. It was very late now and colder than ever and Minseok was worried about Jongdae catching a cold as they ambled through the streets.

 “I’ve been booked off work for two weeks,” Jongdae said. “I’ll phone in tomorrow. Would you mind giving the letter to my department?”  
 “Sure,” Minseok said. “So, you really don’t remember the house?”  
 “I might have dreamt about it while I was unconscious…” Jongdae said but he trailed off and shuddered.  
 “I don’t know what kind of drugs they gave me but I had the weirdest dreams,” he muttered.

Minseok briefly recounted their excursion to the house to Jongdae.  
 “I’m so sorry for…for behaving like that,” he murmured. “I don’t know what came over me.” Jongdae tightened his arm around his waist.  
 “Don’t worry about it, Minseok. I mean, I can’t remember it anyway,” he said with a small laugh.

As soon as they were back in the apartment Minseok helped Jongdae change his clothes and get into bed.

 “Minseok, I’m sorry,” Jongdae said softly. Minseok paused in folding away his clothes and turned to see him frowning.  
 “I’ll pay you back. I promise.”  
 “It’s not your fault,” he said, shaking his head. “All that matters now is that you recover. You could have broken your neck or something.”

Jongdae fell silent but he still looked incredibly remorseful. Minseok gingerly climbed over him to get to his side of the bed and he made sure that the blankets were pulled up to Jongdae’s chin. Minseok genuinely didn’t care about the money. All that concerned him was Jongdae’s wellbeing and so it hurt him to see him feeling so guilty.

“Are you warm enough?”  
 “Hmm.”  
 “Please don’t be sad,” he said. He gently cupped the side of Jongdae’s face. “It’s just an accident. I could have fallen too.”  
Jongdae remained silent. Minseok did not want to press the matter as they were both exhausted so he kissed Jongdae on the cheek before turning off the light.

* * *

He thought that he should have been too tired to have any dreams but he had dreamt about Jongdae falling. The light disappearing and only hearing the sound of his body crashing down the stairs. The sight of his bloodied head in the bright light of his phone torch had made him scream. It made him wake up feeling anxious.

Minseok was very reluctant to have to leave Jongdae alone while he went to work. He had still been asleep when he woke up and he wanted nothing more than to look after him. He knew it wasn’t a serious concussion but he felt immensely guilty for snapping at him in the house. When he remembered the incident he felt very uneasy as if he were watching the actions of a stranger who just happened to look like him.

He was very distracted at work to the point that even Yixing noticed.  
 “Are you okay, Minseok?” he asked.  
Minseok felt that he and Yixing didn’t know each other that well so he merely forced a smile and nodded and said that he was just tired. Though there was a strange glint in Yixing’s eyes that Minseok couldn’t explain and he wondered if he believed him.

He practically ran into the apartment and he was shocked to see that the lights hadn’t been turned on. The heating was off completely and he gasped when he felt how cold it was. He turned on the lights and the apartment looked the same as how he had left it that morning.

 “Jongdae? Are you alright?” he asked as he entered the bedroom. Jongdae was lying in the bed and staring at the ceiling through half-lidded eyes. Minseok gently touched his arm and he slowly turned to look at him. He looked slightly dazed.  
 “Are you alright? Have you eaten today? Did you take your medication?” he asked in a forcefully steady voice.  
Jongdae merely hummed in response and it did nothing to make Minseok feel better.

There was still soup from the previous night so he put it on the stove to warm up. They didn’t have a microwave and had to heat up everything on the stove and it was rather tedious.

 “Minseok…” Jongdae murmured. Minseok sat on the edge of the bed staring at him with wide eyes. He had no idea what to do or whether or not Jongdae’s reaction was normal. He supposed that his pain medication was rather strong. He took his hand and felt a small surge of relief when he intertwined his fingers with this.

Minseok had to prompt Jongdae to open his mouth with the spoon as he tried to feed him the soup but he was glad that he ate all of it. If anything it was just his listless gaze and silence that disturbed Minseok but he reassured himself that Jongdae was just in pain and drugged up on medication. He knew that concussions often made people confused too.

During the night Minseok was shaken awake by insistent hands. He turned over to see that Jongdae was still lying beside him but with a look of utmost terror on his face. He saw the whites of his eyes and the sight made Minseok jump up.

 “What’s wrong?” he asked. Jongdae was breathing heavily.  
 “Dreams…the house,” he murmured. “The stairs!”

While he looked at Minseok his eyes weren’t focused on him. It was as if he were looking at something else. He was gripping onto his arm so tightly that it became uncomfortable.  
 “Jongdae, it’s alright,” he said softly. “You just had a nightmare.”

Jongdae blinked rapidly and then his eyes focused. He looked confused.  
 “What-what’s going on?” he said. Minseok gently stroked his cheek.  
 “You had a nightmare. I think the painkillers are a bit strong for you,” he said. “Are you alright?”  
Jongdae swallowed.  
 “I thought…never mind. I’m fine,” he muttered.

He moved closer to Minseok and he was sure to wrap his arms tightly around him.  
 “You’ll get better,” he murmured. “I’m here to look after you.” Jongdae was stiff in his embrace and Minseok had to reassure him with soft whispers before he eventually fell asleep.

* * *

Minseok breathed a sigh of relief when he returned home the next day to find that the lights and heating were on and that Jongdae was sitting at the kitchen table. It was finally the weekend and even though Minseok still had a shift at the restaurant on Saturday he could spend most of his time with Jongdae.

 “Jongdae, how are you feeling?” he asked while removing his shoes.  
 “Fine.”  
 “What have you been doing all day? Have you eaten?”  
 “Sleeping. No.”

Minseok paused while taking the pot out the cupboard to look at Jongdae. He was sitting up rather stiffly and looking straight at him. His face was impassive, but Minseok had noted a hard edge in his voice. He never gave him one-word answers in such a manner so he was a bit confused.

 “Do you want to eat anything specific?” he asked.  
 “No.”  
Then he got up from the chair and went to the bedroom. Minseok tried not to think too much about it because he told himself that he should be happy that Jongdae was up and moving and no longer in a weird state of dazed confusion.

He watched the water boiling in the pot for a moment before deciding that he should go and ask Jongdae how he was feeling. He wanted to tell him about a book he had seen in the library that day that he knew he would be interested in.

When he turned around he came face-to-face with Jongdae and he jumped.

 “I didn’t know you were there,” he gasped. He expected his face to break into a smile and for the corners of his eyes to crinkle with his curved lips. But Jongdae merely stared at him for a moment before glancing at the pot. The only sound was that of the boiling water and Minseok’s breathing.

 “What are you making?” he asked. There was no pitch of curiosity in his question and it sounded more like a statement.  
 “Just a stew,” Minseok said. “Do you want rice as well?”  
 “No.”

He turned to leave and Minseok heard the sound of the shower water running. He was absolutely bewildered. He tried to busy himself with cooking but Jongdae’s behaviour was the strangest thing he had ever witnessed.

Jongdae emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of blue pyjamas and he sat down silently at the table.  
 “Aren’t you cold wearing just that?” Minseok asked.  
 “No.”  
 “Alright,” he said uneasily. “Don’t catch a cold.”  
Jongdae said nothing.

Never in his life had Minseok ever felt so out of place with Jongdae before. He was accustomed to comfortable silences when they could just simply be in each other’s presences without speaking if there was no need to. But this was anything but comfortable. He went to shower just to not have to stand by the stove in silence and when he returned Jongdae was in the same position as still as a statue.

 “Could you please set the table?” he asked.  
 “No.”

Minseok thought he had misheard him but when he looked around Jongdae was staring straight at him. He supposed that he was a bit sensitive to moving his head around, but Minseok was speechless. But he still didn’t want to make a fuss about anything so he wordlessly set out the bowls and cutlery and dished up the stew.

They ate in silence for a moment before Jongdae put down his spoon.  
 “I don’t like it.”  
Minseok stared at him. His face was stoic as ever and his gaze had a hard edge to it as he maintained eye-contact with Minseok.  
 “Are you okay, Jongdae?” he asked. “You seem really off.”  
 “I’m fine.”  
 “But you’ve eaten this stew before,” Minseok said.  
 “I don’t like it.”

To Minseok’s utter bewilderment Jongdae stood up and went straight the bedroom.

Minseok’s mind was a whirling storm of confusion. He pinched his thigh just to make sure that he wasn’t in the middle of some fever dream. He had known Jongdae since middle school so it was shocking to him to see him being so rude. Jongdae didn’t even have the capability to be rude. Minseok didn’t know whether to be hurt or angered because he was so confused.

It was too early to go to bed but there was nothing else to do in the apartment and Minseok felt hesitant when he entered the bedroom. Jongdae was sitting up and staring at the wall.

When he had to climb over Jongdae to get to the other side of the bed for some reason an odd sense of unease surged through him and he quickly got under the duvet.

 “Jongdae, what’s the matter?” he asked. While he was a passive person, Minseok couldn’t just ignore Jongdae’s weird behaviour. He turned to look at him.  
 “Nothing.”  
 “It obviously isn’t ‘nothing’ because you’ve never been this rude in your entire life,” Minseok said. He was managing to keep his voice calm but Jongdae’s stoic expression both unnerved and irritated him at the same time.  
 “Why are you on my case? I just didn’t like the food so will you drop it already?” he snapped.  
 “B-but you’ve eaten it before!” Minseok spluttered. “Please just tell me what’s bothering you.”

He reached out to take his hand but Jongdae wrenched it away.  
 “Right now _you’re_ bothering me. I’m tired and sore so just leave me alone,” he said curtly before turning over onto his side with his back to Minseok. All he could do was stare in bewilderment.

A tense silence fell over them. The apartment wasn’t supposed to be so quiet. There should be the sound of him and Jongdae talking or the sound of Jongdae singing and playing a little melody on his keyboard. If anything they should still be sitting at the kitchen table and talking over dinner.

Why on earth would Jongdae behave like this? Was he angry with Minseok? Minseok wondered if he was imagining his own strange feelings of unease.

Minseok couldn’t think of having done anything to warrant such a reaction, and even if he had done something, Jongdae didn’t possess the capacity to treat him like that. He would have plainly told him if he had done something wrong. If he really didn’t like the food then he would have told him nicely. He wouldn’t make a huge scene over it.

They had never ever had any sort of fight before. There had been brief spats but they had been quickly resolved. Nothing had been serious enough to be considered as a fight.

Minseok stared out the window. It was a cloudy night so no moonlight spilled into the room. A car drove past and the tyres made an unpleasant squealing sound. He bit his lip in an effort to try and figure out what could possibly be wrong with Jongdae but he honestly had no idea.

* * *

_There was nothing but the sound of his own breathing and his footsteps on the wooden floor. Minseok couldn’t see any further than what the light of his phone allowed and he was moving quickly through the house. He was moving quickly through the darkness and trying to control the icy fear that ran down his spine._

_Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
_Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
 _Back to the stairs._

_It was as though his feet were glued to the wood as he stood in the middle of the staircase. He felt incredibly vulnerable with the expanse of the house behind him and the black landing looming ahead of him._

_A faint creak echoed above him and he looked up but only saw darkness._

_“Minseok?”_

_He looked up and saw nothing. It was too dark to see further than his outstretched arm. But he knew that it was Jongdae’s voice and he had been looking desperately for Jongdae._

_Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
_Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
 _Back to the stairs._

_“Jongdae?” he called. His voice was so loud it echoed back at him._

_“Minseok!”_

_The voice was right behind him and crashed against his eardrum._

_He ran up the stairs and into the darkness and into a bedroom. He wanted to hide himself. He didn’t want to be seen._

_The hangings were drawn around the bed. But when he pulled them back he saw Jongdae sitting in the middle of the bed and when Jongdae looked at him he screamed. He didn’t know why Jongdae screamed but he grabbed his hand and felt that it was icy cold. Jongdae wouldn’t move off the bed no matter how urgently Minseok tugged on his hand._

_Then the hair on the back of his neck stood up and Minseok heard himself scream._

* * *

Minseok opened his eyes with a start. He was still lying on his right side and felt incredibly stiff. He was breathing hard but the memory of his dream was quickly leaving his mind and he forgot what had actually happened. All he knew was that it had definitely been a nightmare.

He turned on his side and saw that Jongdae was still asleep. Then he remembered the events of the previous night and frowned. He really didn’t know what to do. If it had been a small misunderstanding then they would have immediately spoken about it and moved on.

Minseok sat up and saw that it was late morning. He shivered slightly as the cold air bit through his pyjamas. He decided to make coffee and try to work things out from there.

When he returned with the cups of coffee Jongdae woke up.

 “Morning,” Minseok said stiffly. He set down Jongdae’s cup and remained standing while sipping his own.

Jongdae smiled widely at him.  
 

 “Morning, Minseok,” he said brightly and Minseok nearly spat out his coffee. Jongdae held out his arms to try and pull him closer but Minseok kept his distance.

Jongdae tilted his head to the side in confusion.   
 “What’s wrong? Didn’t you sleep well?”  
Minseok stared at him with a gaping mouth.  
 “You…don’t you remember yesterday?” he spluttered. He wasn’t trying to start an argument again but Jongdae was acting completely normal and as though nothing had happened.

 “I felt really nauseous the whole day. I don’t remember much, to be honest. I remember you feeding me soup.”  
 “That was two days ago,” Minseok said slowly. “Today’s Saturday. Don’t you remember Friday?”

Jongdae furrowed his brows.  
 “Are you serious? But…but I can’t have forgotten an entire day,” he muttered. He took a swig of his coffee and frowned in concentration.  
 “It must just be from the concussion. Maybe I can take you for a check-up on Monday,” Minseok said quickly. As glad as he was to see Jongdae behaving normally, it was very worrying to think that he now had memory loss. But even memory loss couldn’t explain his complete change in personality.

 “Maybe…what happened anyway?” Jongdae asked. He looked genuinely curious.  
 “Nothing. You just hardly ate,” Minseok said hastily. He couldn’t bring himself to puncture Jongdae’s bright mood with something he couldn’t even remember.  
 “Oh,” he said as he leaned back against the pillows. “Well, now we can spend most of the day in bed.”  
 “Actually I think we should go for a walk. You need some fresh air,” Minseok said. “I’ll start breakfast.”

Minseok knew that they both needed a break from the cramped apartment and he just wanted to do something to take his mind off his worries about Jongdae. He tried to convince himself that it was a combination of the medication and the concussion but his logic told him that even that couldn’t make someone like Jongdae behave in the way that he did. It made sense. Minseok felt some pressure lift from his heart. He had done nothing wrong. Nothing was his fault.

Everything was fine.

Jongdae ate nearly all the eggs Minseok had prepared and it lifted his spirits to see him eating heartily. His hair was messier than ever and he was rather pale but he was still smiling at it made Minseok feel reassured.

 “I’m happy your appetite is back,” he said. Jongdae nodded.  
 “I’m starving,” he said through a mouthful of food. “Hey, we should call Baekhyun and Chanyeol and tell them what happened. I’m sure they’ll get a laugh out of it.”

Minseok dialled Baekhyun’s number and Jongdae bounced his feet under the table eagerly.

 “Hello?”  
 “Baekhyun! Don’t pretend you don’t know who’s calling you,” Minseok laughed.  
 “Minseok! Wait – let me fetch Chanyeol!”

There was the sound of commotion on the other side before Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s greetings bellowed through the receiver and Jongdae responded loudly.

 “Ow, there’s some interference on your side,” Chanyeol said. Minseok laughed for the first time in a while and he reached over the table to hold Jongdae’s hand.  
 “That’s just Jongdae being loud. You’ll never guess what happened to him.”

He gave a brief recount of the experience in the house and Baekhyun and Chanyeol responded with whoops of approval.

 “I can’t believe he actually managed to drag you into a haunted house!” Chanyeol exclaimed.  
 “It wasn’t haunted,” Minseok said quickly.  
 “I can’t believe he got a concussion! What an idiot!” Baekhyun cackled.  
 “That’s rich coming from you, Baekhyun!” Jongdae retaliated. “I’ll never let you forget that time you fell down the stairs in the subway!”

Minseok laughed but the speaker made a crackling sound.  
 “Eh? What happened? I didn’t hear anything after you spoke, Minseok,” Baekhyun said.  
 “I think it’s the signal. But Jongdae was just shouting at you,” Minseok said.  
 “Here, give me the phone.”

Jongdae took the phone from him and held it right next to his mouth.  
 “Baekhyun? Chanyeol? Can you hear me?”  
There was some warbled static and Jongdae dropped the phone with a start. Minseok quickly took it back.

“….the hell was that?” Baekhyun’s voice echoed. It sounded slightly muffled.  
 “I don’t know. God, don’t tell me my phone is breaking,” Minseok said.  
 “I can hear you fine, though,” Baekhyun said.

They spoke for a while longer but every time Jongdae said something neither Baekhyun nor Chanyeol had been able to hear it. Minseok thought that it was just bad signal so he thought nothing more of it after they ended the call.

 “Are we going to the hill?” Jongdae asked eagerly, practically bouncing on his feet as they left the apartment building. He looked very endearing with his messy hair and the bandage around his head. Minseok had also forced him to wear an extra jersey under his winter jacket.

 “Where else?” Minseok responded with a smile. He desperately wanted to link arms with him and rest his head on his shoulder but they were in public. He had already forgotten about the previous day as they walked down the street. It was very cold outside and their breath misted in front of them but the sky was cloudless and the sun shone weakly above them and Minseok felt very pleased with the world.

They passed leafless trees and the townspeople going about their daily errands as they made their way to the park on the other side of town. In the heart of the park was a small hill that just overlooked a few treetops. It was the one of the first places Jongdae had discovered when they moved to Jishou and they had claimed it as their own secret spot.

 “I should have brought a blanket,” Minseok said as his teeth chattered. They sat down on the wooden bench and he breathed in the fresh winter air.    
 “What a week we’ve had, hey?” Jongdae said. “Ah, but you still have work this afternoon.”  
 “I’ve got to put food on the table,” Minseok said with a small laugh. But then he saw the look on Jongdae’s face and he regretted his words.

 “I’m joking, Jongdae,” he said quickly.  
 “You know these two weeks that I’m booked off isn’t paid leave,” Jongdae muttered. “I’ll see how I’m feeling on Monday and I can maybe go to work.”  
 “No you will not, Kim Jongdae,” Minseok said sternly. “You have to put your health first.”  
 “But money’s tight already, Minseok,” he replied. He shook his head and now looked very worried.  
 “Jongdae, please,” Minseok said softly. “Please stop worrying. It’s not going to get us anywhere. We’ll be fine.” He squeezed his arm.  
 “Come on. Let’s go walk around town for a bit,” he said as he pulled him to his feet.

Minseok was dedicated to lifting Jongdae’s spirits and they were soon laughing together as they ambled around the town. Minseok was able to forget that they were running low on groceries and that their heating didn’t work properly and that Jongdae’s pay would be cut because all that mattered was that they were happy with each other in their own private moment.

They were standing outside a small bookshop and debating whether or not to go in when someone came out and Minseok was taken by surprise because it was Yixing.

 “Hello, Yixing,” he said politely. “This is my cousin Jongdae.”  
Yixing smiled at him but when he turned to look at Jongdae he stiffened and his eyes narrowed slightly. Jongdae greeted him in Mandarin, seemingly unaware of the change in his face, and Yixing was quiet for a moment before returning the greeting.

 “You’re also from Seoul?” Yixing asked. Jongdae nodded with a wide smile.  
 “Minseok told me you were an exchange student there. How did you like it?”

They chatted pleasantly for a while until a cold wind tore around the corner and the three of them gasped.

 “My God, it’s freezing,” Minseok muttered.  
 “You’ll get used to it soon enough,” Yixing laughed.  
 “Hey, do you want to come back to our place for some lunch? We shouldn’t be standing out here in the cold and Minseok’s a great cook,” Jongdae said quickly.

Minseok was momentarily taken aback and felt a spike of worry. He didn’t think the apartment was fit to receive guests and that it probably never would be. Yixing blinked in surprise before smiling.

 “Of course, if it’s not too much trouble. Is that fine, Minseok?”

There was something slightly piercing in his eyes as he looked at Minseok. He nodded quickly.  
 “I think our place is a mess, though,” he muttered. Jongdae shook his head.  
 “Minseok is very serious about cleaning,” he said and Yixing chuckled.  
 “He’s one of the best at work, you know,” he said.

Jongdae chatted rapidly to Yixing, sometimes in Korean and sometimes in Mandarin, as they walked back to the apartment. While Minseok was glad that he was finding friendship with Yixing, he couldn’t help but feel a slight pang of annoyance at Jongdae’s spontaneous invitation. He wanted to be alone with Jongdae that day seeing as he had work later. He didn’t really feel like cooking and he didn’t want Jongdae to do any cooking either seeing as he wasn’t entirely recovered.

No. He mustn’t think such things. He should be delighted that Jongdae was bright and cheerful and making friends with Yixing. He can’t allow himself to be annoyed with him.

 “Oh, this is a cute place,” Yixing said as he stood where the sofa had once been and glanced around.  
 “The heating doesn’t work properly,” Minseok said as he stared into the fridge. “Er, we have fish? Do you like fish, Yixing?”  
 “I’ll eat anything,” he replied with a smile. “Is there only one bedroom?”  
 “Yeah. It’s not ideal,” Jongdae said with an eye-roll. “But we shouldn’t complain.”

Minseok nearly dropped the pan at Yixing’s question but he was glad at how nonchalant Jongdae was able to be. He focused on making a decent lunch while the two of them chatted about anything and everything.

 “Jongdae, your Mandarin is so good I would think you’re Chinese,” Yixing said as they sat at the table. Minseok had given Yixing his chair, after ignoring his adamant protests, and ate standing. He didn’t mind but now he glanced up warily.

 “Thanks. I wish Minseok was nearly as half as good as me, though,” Jongdae said.  
 “You really don’t know any Mandarin, Minseok?” Yixing asked curiously.

Minseok knew it was a harmless question but he couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed.  
 “No. I only know some greetings and stuff,” he muttered into his rice bowl.  
 “I’ve tried to teach him for months but he won’t have it,” Jongdae said. “He hardly knows any characters either.”

Minseok tried to give him a hard look to get him to shut up but he wasn’t looking at him. Yixing nodded sympathetically.  
 “Learning a foreign language is difficult,” he said. “This is great, by the way, Minseok!” He gave him that same strong look and Minseok just nodded quickly and looked away.

Luckily the conversation topic quickly turned to food, thanks to Yixing, but Minseok wasn’t really listening. He shouldn’t feel so rattled about Jongdae’s comment but he really should know that it was a sensitive topic. He should know how stupid and incapable Minseok felt about his language abilities. And yet here he was mentioning it to Yixing.

But Minseok also berated himself for getting irritated. Jongdae meant well. He would never intentionally embarrass him in front of someone.

Minseok and Yixing left together to go to work after insisting that he didn’t have to help do the dishes or anything.

 “Jongdae’s very friendly,” Yixing remarked as they walked.  
 “Yeah,” Minseok absent-mindedly.  
 “I don’t mean to pry, but if you don’t mind me asking, why does he have that bandage around his head?”  
 “He fell down the stairs in the apartment building,” Minseok said too quickly. “He’s rather clumsy.”  
Yixing merely nodded but said nothing more.

* * *

Unfortunately Minseok’s shift ended an hour later than usual and he hadn’t been able to send Jongdae a text. He had barely opened the front door when Jongdae yanked him into a bone-crushing hug.

 “Jongdae!” he gasped. But Jongdae was kissing his face feverishly while Minseok hastily closed the door behind him.  
 “I was worried sick! What happened?” he said, his eyes anxiously roaming Minseok’s face as if searching for wounds. Minseok would have laughed at his reaction as he had never seen him behave in such a way before, but his eyes were wide with genuine worry.  
 “I was working overtime. Sorry I didn’t have a chance to tell you,” Minseok said and then Jongdae was hugging him tightly again.  
 “Hey, why are you so clingy?” he said with a small laugh and he gently patted his back. “I wasn’t gone for that long.”

Jongdae pulled away and led him by the hand to the table.  
 “I had a nap and this awful dream,” he said while dishing up the leftovers from the previous night. “It just…freaked me out.”  
 “I’m sorry,” Minseok said. “I also had a weird dream last night though I can’t remember it.”

They ate in silence for a moment and appreciated the food and each other’s presences. Minseok noticed how Jongdae heartily ate all the stew.

 “You like the stew?” he asked with some nervousness. Jongdae raised an eyebrow.  
 “Of course. I’ve always liked this stew,” he said. “Why are you asking?”

Minseok bit his lip for a moment. He wouldn’t tell Jongdae everything that had happened the previous day but he really just wanted some clarity on his behaviour.

 “Yesterday you didn’t eat it,” he said.  
 “Really? I must have been really drugged up,” Jongdae said in bewilderment. “What else happened?”  
 “You…you were a bit grumpy, to be honest,” Minseok said before he could stop himself. “But you were probably just tired and sore. Also, like you said, the meds probably interfered.”

Jongdae frowned intensely at his food.

 “I really don’t remember a thing,” he said. Minseok now immediately felt guilty for worrying him so he reached across the table to take his hand.  
 “Hey, concussions are a serious thing. Don’t stress yourself over yesterday,” he said gently.

Jongdae was still frowning and only then did Minseok notice the large red cut on his forehead.

 “You took off the bandage,” Minseok said.  
 “Yeah, the swelling’s gone,” Jongdae said. “This cut is so ugly.”

Minseok reached across the table and ruffled his hair so that his bangs fell just above his eyes.  
 “I look like a kid,” Jongdae protested and swatted his hands away.  
 “You look sweet,” Minseok said. Jongdae tried to retaliate by messing up his hair and Minseok just managed to catch his plate before it flew off the table.

 “Be careful,” he laughed as Jongdae got to his feet. He watched him fondly as he always did while he washed the dishes. No matter how tired Minseok was, he always stayed up with Jongdae while he cleaned up after dinner. It was a natural part of their routine and he was glad that Jongdae seemed to be getting better.

* * *

 _Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
_Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
 _Back to the stairs._

_Wood creaked. He breathed quickly in and out and in and out and in and out and Jongdae was crying in the middle of the bed but he wouldn’t move no matter how hard Minseok pulled on his arm. And he lost his grip because his hands were suddenly bloody._

* * *

“Minseok? Minseok?”

He felt warm breath on his ear and a pair of arms wrapped tightly around his middle.

 “Minseok.”

He dragged out his name in a long whine and Minseok smiled before opening his eyes to see Jongdae beside him and the stress of his dream quickly left his mind. He couldn’t remember it anyway.

 “Since when do you wake me up?” he murmured and he turned his face away to yawn.  
 “I woke up a while ago and I couldn’t go back to sleep,” Jongdae said. He buried his face in the space between Minseok’s neck and shoulder and his breath tickled him. He fiddled with the necklace and his fingers were cold against Minseok’s throat.

 “Another bad dream?”  
 “Hmm.”  
 “Me too.”

He played with Jongdae’s hair for a while, just listening to him breathing and feeling the weight of his body against his and he felt content. There was faint birdsong outside but otherwise the town was still. The sun shone a warm patch on his side of the bed and Jongdae moved to intertwine their legs. Minseok moved his hand beneath his shirt from Jongdae’s hair to gently stroke his back and he was surprised to feel just how cold he was despite the layers of blankets and his thick pyjamas.

 “Why are you cold?” he asked.  
 “Am I?” Jongdae replied. “I don’t feel cold.”  
 “Maybe I’m hot,” Minseok said thoughtfully.

Jongdae sat up and wiggled his eyebrows at him with a smirk.  
 “You _are_ hot,” he said.  
 “Shut up,” Minseok snorted and he felt his face flush. “You’re so lame.”  
 “I learnt from the best,” Jongdae said and he pinched Minseok’s cheek.  
 “Are you saying I’m lame?” Minseok asked with feigned shock, swotting his hand away from his face.  
 “I know you’re lame – Minseok!”

Minseok had pushed Jongdae back against the mattress and rolled over to pin him down and tickle him.

 “Admit that I’m funny!” he shouted over Jongdae’s shrieks of laughter. He squirmed beneath him and Minseok couldn’t help but laugh at the noises he was making.  
 “No! Minseok!” he yelled and then Minseok realised just how loud they were being so he quickly stopped.  
 “Hey! Don’t you start now! We’ll wake up the entire building!” Minseok hissed as he grabbed his mischievous hands and intertwined their fingers.  
 “That’s not fair,” Jongdae whined. Minseok shut him up by leaning down and kissing him.

He pulled away to breathe but Jongdae pulled him closer. Minseok smiled against his lips as he grazed his hands down his chest and stomach. He slipped his fingers beneath his shirt and started to tug it up.

But when he broke contact with Jongdae’s lips to pull his shirt over his head he gasped. There were small red sores spread across his torso from his chest down to his hips.

 “What’s this?” he asked. Jongdae glanced down and his brows furrowed.  
 “I don’t know. I woke up with them yesterday,” he said. He pulled off his shirt.  
 “I think there’s more now,” he muttered. Minseok gently touched his chest and it was just as cold as his fingertips. In the natural lighting of the room Minseok also noticed just how pale Jongdae’s skin was.

 “It could be insect bites,” Minseok said.  
 “They don’t itch…but I don’t know,” Jongdae said.

Minseok couldn’t help but stare in concern. Jongdae took his hand.  
 “It’s not smallpox. Don’t look so worried,” he said with a small laugh. “It’s probably just a rash or something.”  
 “Maybe,” Minseok muttered. “I’ll get you some ointment. You don’t want them to get infected.”

He moved off Jongdae and he quickly threw his arms around his middle.  
 “Don’t go,” he whined. “We were busy kissing!”  
 “We shouldn’t get too carried away,” Minseok said with a grin as he ruffled his hair. “You’re still in a fragile state.”

He left Jongdae to whine incoherently and search through the bathroom cabinet.

 “It might sting,” Minseok said as he started to apply the ointment to Jongdae’s skin. He was very concentrated on what he was doing and Jongdae was making it difficult by trying to steal kisses.

 “Jongdae, I’m going to tie you down,” Minseok said with a stern look as he pushed him away for the seventh time.  
 “Oh, I didn’t expect that reaction,” Jongdae replied and Minseok nearly dropped the cream.  
 “Just keep still,” he muttered as his face grew incredibly hot and Jongdae laughed at him.  
 “So you’re not going to take up your offer?”  
Minseok hit him on the arm and he whined indignantly.

Minseok relented his number one rule about eating in bed just for that morning because he was still a bit worried about Jongdae’s health. He spent the morning cleaning the apartment and reprimanding Jongdae when he tried to help him.

 “Even if you weren’t recovering I need to do my weekly cleaning,” Minseok said after forcing him back into the room for the third time. “Work on your song or read something.”

While Minseok was cleaning the bathroom he was slightly shocked to find a wad of bloodied toilet paper in the dustbin. He stared at it in confusion and deduced that it must have been from Jongdae when he was out at work on Friday. He was about to ask him about it then he remembered that Jongdae had no recollection of Friday.

All thoughts of the bloody tissues quickly disappeared when Minseok discovered that Jongdae had snuck out the room to sit at his small desk and that he was sitting in front of the open window. He hurried over to close it.

 “You’ll catch pneumonia,” he said. Jongdae sighed heavily.  
 “I thought the cold air would refresh my brain. I think I’m getting cabin fever,” he said. Minseok noticed that he hadn’t written down anything in his notebook as it remained shut in front of him.

 “When I’m done we should pack lunch to eat in the park,” he said warmly and Jongdae smiled at his words.

They returned in the early evening, teeth chattering and Minseok cursing under his breath.  
 “Okay, I think we can wait for spring before we do that again,” he gasped. “God, I wish the heating would work.”

Jongdae was still wearing his jacket and shoes as he eagerly took out his notebook.  
 “Listen. I think it’s coming together nicely.”

“Now you’re not alone  
Don’t feel lonely anymore  
Morning will come again  
So you can peacefully smile  
At the end of this sadness  
Just turn off the lights today

Like the clouds covering the sky  
If you get covered too  
Then you, you  
I’ll shine on you.”

He sang the song again with all the verses he had composed and Minseok was slightly awe-struck. When Jongdae sang he would close his eyes and his face took on the gentlest expression. Minseok felt his heart swell with affection. He was so privileged to be able to witness Jongdae singing.

When he trailed off and opened his eyes Minseok pulled him close.  
 “I can’t wait to see you recording it someday,” he said and Jongdae cast his eyes down and smiled shyly.  
 “I love you so much, Minseok,” he said softly.

Minseok brushed the hair out of his face and took in his stunning smile. Though he was pale and still somewhat injured, Jongdae seemed to have totally returned to normal and Minseok felt completely relieved. Once he had recovered everything would go back to normal.


	3. Goodnight

_Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
_Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
_Back to the stairs._

_Minseok was stuck on the stairs. The blackness was all around him._

_But where was Jongdae? He needed to find Jongdae._

_He called his name and it echoed in the darkness. He felt a presence behind him but he knew that he must not turn around._

_He must not turn around. If he turned around then he would not be able to find Jongdae._

* * *

 “Jongdae?”

The apartment was dark and cold. Minseok turned on the heating and the lights and hurried to the bedroom but it was empty and the bed was unmade. The bathroom door was open and he could see that it was also unoccupied.

He thought it strange that Jongdae would just leave the apartment without telling him or leaving the lights on. He dialled his number and it only rang for a few seconds before he heard the ringtone of Jongdae’s phone echoing from beneath the duvet.

 “He’s probably just gone for a walk or something,” Minseok muttered to himself.

He was determined not to worry despite how out of character it was for Jongdae to do such a thing. A strange sense of foreboding crept into him and he forced it away because it was unexplainable. His day had been exceptionally tiring and he really didn’t need any more stress. He could barely remain on his feet as he started cooking but there wasn’t anything prepared.

He had just finished preparing dinner when Jongdae returned. He brought a cold drought with him into the apartment and immediately sat down at the kitchen table.

 “Hey,” Minseok said as he approached him. He pulled him into his arms but Jongdae’s response was stiff as if he were slightly reluctant.  
 “Where were you?” he asked, quickly returning to the stove.  
 “Out.”  
 “Have you eaten?”  
 “No.”

Minseok felt some impatience creep into his being. He placed a bowl in front of Jongdae but he immediately pushed it back. Minseok was stunned.

“I don’t want it.”

He was speechless for a moment. Though Jongdae’s face was stoic his eyes betrayed a small sense of suppressed annoyance as he stared at him.

 “But you need to eat something,” Minseok said.  
 “I don’t want it.”  
 “Jongdae you can’t starve,” he said with barely repressed sternness.  
 “Then don’t feed me this,” he snapped, pointing at the bowl.

Minseok was at a loss for words. He could barely stand on his tired feet and the lights were harsh on his tired eyes and he could feel a headache approaching.

 “What’s wrong?”  
 “I’m hungry if I’m being dead honest. Where’s the meat?”

Minseok pursed his lips.  
 “There isn’t any. Why didn’t you ask me to buy some?” he asked. It took a lot of effort to steady his rising temper.  
 “I can’t, can I? You wouldn’t know where to look in the shop,” Jongdae scoffed. “Just leave it.”

Then he stood up and went to the bedroom and now Minseok felt dread and irritation pooling in the very pit of his stomach. As his sleep had been disturbed last night despite not being able to remember his dream he was too tired to just accept Jongdae’s strange behaviour.

He knew that Jongdae was just sitting in the bedroom and he didn’t want to go there. For a strange reason he didn’t want to share a room with him at that moment so he took his time eating despite how he hated being alone with his worried thoughts. While he had never been clingy, it was strange to not want to be in Jongdae’s presence.

After cleaning up and taking a long shower Minseok finally entered the bedroom to find Jongdae just sitting up in the bed and staring at the wall. It was incredibly unnerving.

He felt very vulnerable as he got dressed and he quickly realised that it was because he could feel Jongdae’s eyes on him. He glanced over his shoulder to see Jongdae staring at his body in the most disturbing way. It was as though his eyes were burning into his bare skin and looking straight through him. He changed quickly and went back to the kitchen to clean the sink just as an excuse not to be on the receiving end of Jongdae’s stare.

Despite having cleaned the entire apartment yesterday, Minseok scrubbed the kitchen until his hands ached and his eyelids started to droop while he stood.

Minseok returned to the room with a heavy heart and Jongdae was lying down now but staring at the ceiling. His unexplainable anxiety was overriding his annoyance and he was just extremely baffled. He was silent as he sat up beside him.

“Do you want to talk, Jongdae?” he asked even though he felt that it was of no use.  
 “There’s nothing to talk about,” he said curtly.

Now that Minseok allowed himself to dwell on it, he admitted that Jongdae was right about him not being able to buy anything at the supermarket. But despite that, Jongdae should know that they didn’t have enough money to buy anything until they got paid.

Minseok really didn’t know what could have caused him to be so irritable and rude.

It must be the medication and the concussion.

But surely he was better by now?

* * *

_“Minseok! Help me!”_

_Back to the stairs._

_In the dark bedroom._

_“Jongdae?”_

_"HELP ME!_  
_HELP ME!_  
_HELP ME!”_

_There was screaming and wood splintering and glass breaking and Minseok felt hot blood run down his hands._

_Back to the stairs._

* * *

In the morning Minseok had found Jongdae rifling through the fridge. It was the first time that he had ever gotten out of bed before him.

 “Morning,” he muttered.  
 “There’s nothing to eat.”

Minseok paused in his action of making coffee. He turned to look at Jongdae and saw that he was frowning in annoyance. Minseok still felt very tired and slightly uneasy from a dream he could not remember. He remembered the previous night, however, and now the same unpleasant feelings pooled in his gut.

 “There’re leftovers,” he said.  
 “I don’t want them.”

Minseok watched the kettle boiling for a moment. It really was too early for this. He turned around to look at Jongdae and crossed his arms.

 “Jongdae, what’s wrong with you?” he asked with a strong attempt to keep his voice even. “Are you angry with me?”  
 “Yeah, because there’s nothing to eat,” he snapped. “We went through this last night, didn’t we?”

Minseok felt a spike of annoyance.  
 “Then make something. You’re perfectly capable,” he said.  
 “Oh, I’m perfectly capable?” he said in a louder voice. “In case you forgot, I have a concussion so I can’t really do much. It’s _your_ job to make the food.”  

Minseok thought that he had imagined his words as he stared at him. He’d never seen such a look on Jongdae’s face or heard such a tone.

 “I don’t know what I’ve done to piss you off but please just tell me and stop acting like this,” Minseok said. His tiredness and lack of coffee made him more annoyed than usual. He usually would have asked Jongdae in a much more composed manner but he had work soon and he really didn’t have any energy for such nonsense.

Jongdae glared at him for a moment and Minseok felt a sudden pang of unease.

 “I’m going back to sleep,” he muttered before marching to the bedroom. Minseok was utterly bewildered. But he really had no time to interrogate Jongdae because he still hadn’t drank his coffee or gotten ready for work.

* * *

During his lunch break Minseok had decided to phone Baekhyun. He really needed to verbalise his thoughts even if Jongdae’s behaviour was a result of his own mistake.

 “Hey, Minseok!” Baekhyun said brightly. His voice managed to bring a small smile to Minseok’s face.  
 “Hey. How are you?” he asked.  
 “I’m alive. How’ve you been? You haven’t texted me in ages, you know,” he said accusingly.  
 “Baekhyun I phoned you literally three days ago,” Minseok chuckled.  
 “Whatever. How’s Jongdae? Anything interesting happening your side?”

Minseok bit his lip.

 “Minseok? Are you still there?”  
 “Yeah. I just need to talk to you about Jongdae,” he said quietly.  
 “Oh? What do you mean?”  
 “I don’t know if it’s because of his concussion or something but he’s just been really irritable,” Minseok said. “One minute he’s fine and then he’s not. I…I don’t know if it’s something I did but he won’t tell me.”

There was some silence for a moment before Baekhyun spoke.  
 “Jongdae…being irritable?” he said. “What do you mean? I really can’t imagine that.”  
 “He’s snapping at me and he won’t eat anything I make him,” Minseok said. “I suppose that’s my fault but he’s just so rude – “  
 “Minseok, don’t say it’s your fault,” Baekhyun interjected. “Don’t blame yourself. Maybe he’s just going through some pain or something? But that doesn’t justify lashing out at you.”  
 “I know, but I really don’t know how else to explain it,” Minseok muttered.  
 “This is Jongdae we’re talking about,” Baekhyun said. “I really can’t imagine him like that. It must be the concussion, Minseok.”  
 “I hope so,” Minseok said with a heavy sigh.  
 “I’ll talk to Chanyeol about it too. Please keep me updated, alright? You sound really sad.”  
 “I will. Thanks, Baekhyun.”

They said goodbye and Minseok was felt slightly alone when the call ended. It had been good to hear the familiar friendly voice of Baekhyun but he still had no idea what could be the cause of Jongdae’s behaviour.

* * *

 “Minseok, are you okay?”

He realised that he had been standing at the sink with glazed eyes for a while before he sensed Yixing beside him. He quickly nodded but kept his eyes averted. He knew he hadn’t been focused at all that day. He kept brooding about Jongdae and the more he thought about it the worse he felt.

 “I’m just tired,” he said.  
 “How’s Jongdae?”

Something tightened in his gut at the mention of his name and only then did he realise just how stressed he was. Minseok tried to force a small smile.  
 “He’s well.”  
 “How’s his head?” Yixing asked.

Minseok dared to look up into his dark enquiring eyes. He felt that he could not lie to Yixing so he briefly told him about the incident at the house.

 “We really weren’t trying to steal anything,” he added after finishing. “It was very stupid of us. I’m – I’m sorry I lied to you but I didn’t want you to misunderstand.”  
 “This is the house by the woods, yes?” Yixing said with a rather serious expression. Minseok nodded. Yixing frowned in a moment of concentration but then said nothing of it again and Minseok was relieved because he really didn’t want to think about that house.

As much as he tried to remember his dreams, they faded from his mind as soon as he woke up. But he was beginning to have a horrible feeling that they involved the house somehow because he felt the same sense of anxious dread that he had felt there.

Minseok was shocked and more unnerved when he returned from work to a dark and cold apartment. Once again Jongdae wasn’t there, but Minseok noticed a faint yet specifically rancid smell in the apartment and his breath caught in his throat.

He found a handful of used cigarettes dumped in the sink and he was too horrified for a moment to feel anything else. It must have been more than one box. Then he suddenly felt hot anger creeping up his neck and he threw himself into the shower to calm down.

Why on earth would Jongdae start smoking again? It was something he had started in university, much to Minseok’s disapproval. But he had agreed that it was a disgusting and expensive habit and had stopped for the sake of his health. The fact that he had left them to mess up the sink was even worse.

Jongdae returned much later than the previous night and he was barely through the door when Minseok confronted him.

 “Why have you been smoking?” he asked with wide eyes.  
 “Because I can,” Jongdae said.

Now there was something different in his face. Instead of slightly disdainful stoicism he wore an expression of barely-contained anger. His brows were furrowed and his lips were downturned in the most unnatural mask of contempt.

 “You’ve been clean for five months!” Minseok exclaimed in exasperation. “And where did you even get the money for so many cigarettes?”  
 “From the tin,” Jongdae said as he walked past him and Minseok thought he had misheard him. The purpose of the tin was to save some extra money for savings or in case of emergency.

Minseok hurried over to the kitchen cupboard to find that the tin was completely empty.

 “Jongdae what is wrong with you?!” he yelled before he could stop himself. “This money – “  
 “It was all my money,” Jongdae said loudly, suddenly spinning on his feet to glare at Minseok.  
 “I’m taking what’s mine and I don’t want to hear you say shit about it.”

Minseok stared at him in bewilderment. Jongdae never swore at him.

Jongdae produced a cigarette and lighter from his pocket and maintained his strong glare with Minseok as he lit it.

 “Don’t smoke in here!” he exclaimed, suddenly finding his voice.  
 “I’ll do whatever I want because I pay the rent,” he snapped and the smoke blew in Minseok’s face.  
 “You’re such a fucking burden, you know that? You’ve been a dead weight ever since we got here. I’m fucking sick of it.”

His words stabbed Minseok like a knife though he could hardly believe what he was hearing.

Minseok tore his eyes away from Jongdae’s burning glare and his feet automatically took him to the door and out the apartment. He walked for a bit before breaking into a sprint and his heart was thundering in his ears and emotion was welling up in his throat.

He dashed through the dark streets and he hardly knew where he was even going because he kept his head down to count his steps in an effort to retain his sanity.

His breath misted in front of him and his shoe caught on a loose chunk of the pavement before he stumbled to a stop and leaned against a streetlamp gasping for breath.

Minseok staggered out of the yellow light and then a hot tear rolled down his cheek. Then another followed and before he could stop himself he crouched down on his haunches and cried. He didn’t even feel the cold air biting through his pyjamas or notice the darkness surrounding him as he cried his heart out in the deserted street in a town where he knew no one. In a foreign town where the only comfort he had was Jongdae he sobbed until his throat hurt and his eyes burnt in the cold air because Jongdae had ripped out his heart and torn it to bloody pieces.

 _This can’t be Jongdae._  
Jongdae would never.  
But he’s right, isn’t he?

He longer he dwelled on it the more Minseok thought that Jongdae was right. He was very co-dependent on him in Jishou. He could hardly do anything without his help. He couldn’t even go to the shops by himself. There only company had been each other for three months so Minseok thought that it was no wonder that Jongdae had finally snapped at him.

_He’s put up with me for this long.  
I can’t really blame him, can I?_

Minseok didn’t know how long he cried for but when he felt as though he had spent all his tears he shakily got to his feet. His ears and nose hurt and he was sure he had severely messed up his sinuses. He didn’t bother to wipe his stinging eyes as he tried to find his way home by the dim yellow street lights. His footsteps were heavy and he appreciated how the cold numbed his legs and fingertips because it was better than the pain he felt in his heart.

When he entered the apartment the lights were still on and the cigarettes were still in the sink. It hardly felt warmer than what it was outside and the smell of smoke pervaded the air and made him feel slightly nauseous. Minseok collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table and buried his head in his arms. He could not bear to be in the same room as Jongdae let alone share a bed with him. He was uncomfortable and the lights pierced through his closed lids but he wanted the lights on. He could not imagine sitting in such a vulnerable position in the dark.

* * *

_Back to the stairs._  
_Back to the stairs._  
_Jongdae had fallen down the stairs, hadn’t he?_

_Minseok stared into the darkness hoping to see him._

_His hands were slick with something warm and he forced himself not to look over his shoulder._

_“HELP ME!”  
“MINSEOK!” _

_Screaming and crashing down the stairs._

* * *

Minseok nearly slept through his alarm and awoke with a start. At first he could not move because his shoulders were so incredibly stiff. But when he came to his sense he realised that he was in the bed and he jolted up.

He had no recollection of going to the room. He had been very adamant on staying away from Jongdae. The thought that Jongdae had somehow moved him there in his sleep made him feel strangely fearful yet hopeful at the same time.

Surely that meant that Jongdae had forgiven him? If that was the case then why did the idea make him want to shrink into a ball and hide?

He couldn’t recall ever feeling so terrible in his life. He realised that he hadn’t eaten dinner last night and that the result was a splitting headache and stomach pains.

He ambled to the kitchen and saw that the lights were still on and the cigarettes were still in the sink. The only food was some leftover rice that he had to eat cold because they had no microwave and the pots were all lying in the filthy sink.

Minseok couldn’t believe that he had allowed the kitchen to become so filthy and that was when he realised just how emotionally exhausted he was. The onus was on Jongdae to clean during the week, but now how could he expect that from him when he was such a burden to him?

He made his way to the bathroom but stopped in his tracks when he saw Jongdae standing in front of the mirror and Minseok had to clasp his hand over his mouth to contain a gasp.

He was shirtless and in the bright fluorescent light of the bathroom Minseok could see that the sores on his torso had worsened. It looked as though he had been attacked by a cat as there were scratches all over his sickly pale skin. Minseok momentarily forgot the previous night’s incident and became worried.

He saw his own reflection in the mirror and saw his dark circles and unkempt hair, before Jongdae blinked and met his eyes and spun around. Minseok then noticed the faint outline of his ribs beneath his flesh but he thought that it was a trick of the light. There was no way Jongdae could have lost weight in such a short amount of time. It was impossible.

 “Minseok,” he said and Minseok nearly flinched. He didn’t want him to say his name. It sounded so hateful coming from his lips. He noticed that there were sores on the corners of his mouth and his eyes were bloodshot. His face twisted into something like a derisive smile and it was grotesque. He held out his arms.

 “Aren’t you starved for my affection?” he leered. “Why didn’t you sleep with me? You know I had to carry you to bed.”

Minseok averted his eyes. He wanted to run right out the room and the apartment but his fear rooted him to the floor. He could do nothing but watch as Jongdae approached him. It was like watching a horrible slow-motion film as Jongdae snaked his arms around Minseok and pulled him against him in a painfully tight embrace.

It was cold and uncomfortable and absolutely nothing like the hugs he was used to from Jongdae. He reeked of cigarette smoke, but there was something else that Minseok couldn’t place. It was a sickly-sweet smell and he thought that he would bring up his breakfast if he had to inhale it for any longer so he pushed himself away.

Jongdae’s lip curled up in a look of disgust.  
 “Is this how you treat me? Even after I do so much for you?”  
 “I-I don’t feel well,” Minseok stuttered, keeping his eyes on the floor.

Minseok hurried past him and locked himself in the bathroom.

His hands shook as he gripped the edge of the basin and pressed his forehead to the mirror.

He must be losing his mind. He had to be hallucinating or in trapped in a nightmare. He fought the desire to throw up.

Jongdae was absolutely frightening – there was no other way of explaining it. Ever since he had suddenly changed Minseok had felt nothing but growing anxiety and fear when he glared at him. He could no longer be annoyed or angered by Jongdae lashing out at him because he was thoroughly scared of him. Now it was as though he had fully transitioned into a complete stranger. A stranger who hated him and who was bent on making him lose his mind.

He had to tell Baekhyun. He had to tell him that it was all different now and that his and Jongdae’s relationship was crumbling to dust and that he was scared of him.

He forced himself to leave the bathroom and search for his phone in the bedroom. He heard Jongdae clattering around in the kitchen. With trembling hands he picked up his phone.

But it would not turn on. He pressed the button three times and even took out the battery but the screen remained black.

Then he felt panic surge through him. If he was unable to reach Baekhyun or Chanyeol then he truly was alone in this. They were the only people he could speak to. He practically ran out the apartment without even having his coffee.

When he was at work he decided to take the opportunity to use the computer to email them. But he was hesitant because how on earth could be explain Jongdae’s behaviour without sounding completely insane? What if the only explanation really was that it was just because he really was a burden to Jongdae? Minseok bit his lip. He had to tell them. Even if it was his fault he just had to ask for some sort of advice from his friends.

But just before he made to go and sit down at a computer he realised that the keyboards were in Mandarin. The computers were all set to Mandarin and he wasn’t able to decipher a single character. The realisation was like a heavy weight on his heart and he truly felt that he was trapped in Jishou.  

When he returned home from work that evening he found himself hesitating outside the door. But when he finally did go inside he was so surprised to see Jongdae standing at the stove that he froze on the spot.

Jongdae glanced up at him and his expression was unreadable. There was still no smile or brightness in his eyes. They were still narrowed with a glint of disdain.

 “You see how much I do for you?” he said.  
 “I’m sorry,” Minseok said quickly. He didn’t know what to do other than obey Jongdae when he gestured for him to sit down with a sharp point of his finger. He set down the bowl and cutlery in front him with some force.

 “Thank you,” he said. But as he stared into the bowl he couldn’t identify what Jongdae had cooked. He seemed to have used a lot of seasoning because that was all Minseok could smell.

 “Eat,” Jongdae commanded as he sat down across from Minseok. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Minseok knew that he shouldn’t comment on it to he remained silent and took a spoonful of the unidentifiable soup. It was rather thick and he could discern that there was some kind of meat in it. He assumed it was the fish they’d bought the other day.

The silence was like a heavy weight on his shoulders as he ate and kept his eyes on his food. After a few mouthfuls he could sense a strange taste in the food. He didn’t know what it was but he certainly wasn’t going to stop eating. Jongdae continued to smoke and stare at him with such intensity that it made him want to hide under the table. Despite his fears and apprehension, Minseok could not help but be concerned that Jongdae wasn’t eating.

 “Jongdae,” he said in a small voice. He dared to look up and meet his gaze. “Why aren’t you eating?”  
 “I don’t want to,” he said with an exhale of smoke and Minseok coughed and looked away. He was sure he saw Jongdae smirk humourlessly.  
 “I do a lot for you, you know?” he said. “I’m using the last of our groceries to cook for you. Shouldn’t you be grateful?”

Minseok didn’t look up until Jongdae grabbed his wrist tightly. His fingers were icy.  
 “Look at me when I’m speaking to you,” he snapped. Minseok felt himself tremble as he met his eyes.  
 “Why are you doing this to me?” he spluttered before he could stop himself. He was on the verge of tears.  
 “I-I don’t understand, Jongdae. What’s wrong? Have I done something? You’re hurting me!”

Jongdae’s grip tightened and his nails dug into the skin and Minseok winced but he was too afraid to try and pull away.  
 “It’s because I love you, Minseok,” he said, his voice laced with venom. His eyes were bloodshot and burning into Minseok’s skull but he couldn’t look away.  
 “I wouldn’t put up with you if I didn’t love you, right? Do you know that I’m the only person you have here? You’re nothing without me.”

All Minseok could do was stare at him. He didn’t know what to think or believe anymore.

 “So be quiet and finish your food. Understand?” he said sharply. He pressed his nails deeper into Minseok’s skin for emphasis and he nodded quickly.

He ate in silence while trying to keep his emotions intact.

_Jongdae says he loves me. But how is this love? How is this anything but hate?  
Why is this happening to me? Do I deserve this?_

Minseok washed the pile of dishes and cleaned the cigarettes out the sink. There were stains all over the counters so he cleaned them too. All he could do was sponge and scrub and clean to try and retain his sanity. While he cleaned Jongdae stepped out the apartment and gave him a small sense of relief. But no matter how thoroughly he cleaned the kitchen he couldn’t get rid of the smell of cigarettes or the weird taste in the back of this mouth.

 _Jongdae says he loves me._  
Jongdae says he loves me.  
_Jongdae says he loves me._  
_Then why am I so afraid?_

He showered and changed in the bathroom away from Jongdae’s piercing gaze. Jongdae had returned and was sitting up in the bed, shirtless and still smoking. The sores on his torso stood out strongly against his sickly skin and the sight made Minseok shudder. But he still had a nagging sense of concern for him.

 “Jongdae,” he mumbled. He nearly flinched when he turned to look at him.  
 “You – your skin’s gotten worse. Don’t you want ointment or something?”  
 “It’s nothing for you to worry about,” he said with an exhale of smoke. “Are you asking because you’re worried about me?”

Minseok nodded and Jongdae let out a horrible bark of laughter. It was the most unnatural sound Minseok had ever heard. It was like a chair scraping against a dusty floor and it made his hair stand on end.

 “Worry about yourself.”

Minseok desperately wanted to sleep somewhere else but he had nowhere else to go. He avoided Jongdae’s eyes as he climbed over him to his side of the bed and curled up on his side. He pulled the duvet over his nose against the stench of the cigarette.

He heard Jongdae moving and he jolted when he felt cold arms snake around his middle and pull him against his cold body. He wanted to tear himself away and run as far as he could away from Jongdae’s touch.

 “I love you, Minseok. You know that, right? I’m the only one who loves you,” Jongdae said quietly into his ear. Minseok was barely able to hold back his tears so he pinched his thigh to distract himself from his overwhelming fear. Jongdae’s grip around him was suffocating. He felt his hand crawl up his chest to toy with his necklace.

 “I’m the only one who loves you,” he whispered in the darkness. “Don’t you forget it.”

* * *

Minseok did not sleep. Every time he started to feel drowsy he would pinch himself. He thought that it was just as well because in the middle of the night he was suddenly attacked by a bout of nausea and agonising abdominal pain.

His body shook as he gripped the edge of the toilet bowl and vomited. He vomited so much that he thought he would bring up his guts soon enough. He broke out in a cold sweat and curled up against the cold tiles and squeezed his eyes shut and just prayed for the pain to pass.

 “Minseok.”

He felt a cold hand on his shoulder and he curled further into himself.

 “Looks like you’ve got food poisoning,” Jongdae said. There was the slightest edge amusement in his voice and Minseok had to throw up again.

 “I’ll look after you. I’m the only one who can. I’m the only one who loves you.”

_Jongdae says he loves me.  
Jongdae says he loves me. _

It was the worst night of Minseok’s life. He thought that he truly had lost his mind as all he could do was throw up and allow Jongdae to force him to drink water. He constantly reminded Minseok that he should be grateful for Jongdae in his life. He should count himself blessed. He shouldn’t take him for granted.

He had never felt so terrible in his life as he dragged himself to work because he could not bear to be trapped inside the apartment with Jongdae.

Despite his exhaustion he couldn’t even fall asleep at work because he felt constantly on the edge. He would bounce his leg erratically or tap his fingers on the desk. Every small noise made him jump and his co-workers gave him odd glances.

 “Minseok, you’ve washed that dish already.”

He didn’t even register Yixing’s words until he felt him gently pry the dish out of his hands. He didn’t know that his shift had ended until Yixing was gently guiding him to the small washroom to stow away his apron and put on his jacket.

Minseok allowed Yixing to lead him out the restaurant and he only came to his senses once they were halfway down the street.

 “Yixing I’m so sorry I – “  
 “It’s fine. Please join me for some dinner,” he said calmly. Minseok was only capable of feeling a few emotions at the moment so all he could do was nod and follow Yixing to the part of town near the hospital.

Yixing lived in a small two-storey apartment block and while his apartment was even smaller than Minseok’s it was the cosiest place he’d ever seen. The heating was turned on high and the lights emitted a warm glow that made Minseok feel at ease. It was decorated with warm earthy colours and he now noticed that the walls were lined with bookshelves and chests of drawers of various sizes and heights.

 “How have you been, Minseok? You seem sick,” Yixing said while fumbling around in the kitchen area. He produced a pot of hot tea a plate piled with food. Minseok ate and drained the cup fervently before answering. He didn’t realise just how starving he was.

 “I’m…I’m just going through some things,” he said and his voice was hoarse.  
 “How is Jongdae?”

The question made him drop his cup and it fell to the carpeted floor. Yixing placed it back in his hand and gave his fingers a gentle squeeze.

 “I’d rather not talk about Jongdae,” Minseok muttered as he avoided Yixing’s gaze.  
 “I know that you two aren’t cousins. You’re dating, right?”

Minseok gasped, but his fears were quelled when he saw the genuinely warm smile on Yixing’s face. There wasn’t a speck of suspicion or malice in his sparkling eyes. Minseok didn’t know what to say because he was just very confused.

 “I want to help you, Minseok. I know that there’s something wrong,” he said softly. Minseok glanced from the pot of tea and plate of food to the quilt Yixing had insisted he drape over his lap to the man’s dimples. For the first time in a while he allowed himself to feel at ease and he relaxed his tense shoulders.

 “I don’t know if you can help. I…I don’t even know what’s happening,” he muttered. “Jongdae…he’s changed.”  
Yixing sat forward, urging him to continue with a serious look on his face.  
 “The first time was around, I don’t know, Friday? He was really odd. He just kept staring at me or at the wall and he was just…rude. Very curt. It’s so unlike him.”  
 “Has he been like this since Friday?” Yixing asked.  
 “No. He snapped out of it until Monday and it was worse,” Minseok said. He stared into his second cup of tea.  
 “It’s so much worse now,” he said and he felt his voice tremble. “He’s not eating and he’s just so awful and-and I’m _scared_ of him and I don’t know what to do because Jongdae would never act like this. He tells me he loves me but I know he hates me now and I just can’t believe it,” he stammered and Yixing took the cup from his trembling hands before he dropped it again.

 “Minseok, I’m going to tell you something that may shock you but just please believe me, alright?” he said gently. Minseok felt anxious but he nodded.  
 “That house you went into was haunted by the malicious spirits of the family who used to live there. One of them has latched onto Jongdae and is possessing him.”

Minseok stared at him in disbelief.

 “I…what?” he stuttered. “Are you telling me that this is because of a ghost?”  
Yixing nodded. If Minseok had the energy he would have swiftly left the apartment because it was really all too much for him in his current state. Ordinarily he would not entertain any idea of ghosts or any other type of nonsense. But all he could do was stare at Yixing and listen to him.

 “When you first introduced me to him I could tell that something wasn’t right,” he said with a solemn frown. “When he was acting normally he seemed to have repressed it unconsciously. But the fact that he was injured made him very vulnerable.”  
 “How do you know all of this? How can you tell?” Minseok asked quickly. He was waiting for someone to pop out of nowhere demanding money for fortune telling.  
 “I’m what you might call a medium as well as a herbalist,” Yixing said with a smile.  
 “Yixing…seriously?”

Minseok couldn’t tell if Yixing was lying, though he seemed far too good-natured to be capable of lying.  
 “I know it’s difficult for you to believe, but please trust me,” Yixing said calmly.  
 “Why didn’t I get possessed then?” Minseok said and he shuddered at the thought.  
 “Well, out of the two of you Jongdae must have been the most vulnerable,” Yixing said.

Minseok immediately scoffed.  
 “Jongdae? He’s the strongest person I know. He’s always smiling and he’s never complained about our apartment or our money. He’s kind and good and he always puts himself after me.”

Minseok felt himself getting emotional. It was as if the Jongdae he spoke of no longer existed. He had already forgotten the sound of his laughter or the curves of his smile and the warmth of his embrace. All he knew now was hateful glares and venomous words and cold painful holds.

Yixing gently squeezed his arm.  
 “He was probably hiding a lot of worries from you, Minseok,” he said gently. “Getting a concussion was also just an easier way for the spirit to gain control of his being.”

Minseok was silent because he didn’t know what to think.  
 “Is that why he’s sick?” he whispered. “He’s lost weight and he looks terrible. There’re all of these scratches on his body.”

Yixing suddenly sat forward with furrowed brows.  
 “Really? When did they appear?”  
 “I don’t know, but it’s very sudden,” Minseok said. “Why do you look so worried?”  
 “It’s worse than what I imagined,” he muttered. “It seems as though his body isn’t what the spirit wants. Usually during a possession a spirit wouldn’t let its vessel emaciate so quickly.”  
 “Emaciate?” Minseok cried. “But-but why? What’s the point of it possessing him then?”

Yixing exhaled deeply and took a hold of Minseok’s arm.

 “Minseok,” he said slowly. “I think it wants you.”

Chills ran down his spine at Yixing’s words though Minseok could not believe him.

 “M-me? But why? Why is it still possessing Jongdae?”  
 “Well, a spirit can’t just possess someone at will,” Yixing explained. “You have to be in a very vulnerable state – emotionally and mentally. If it didn’t want your body then it would have killed you by now. Am I right in guessing that Jongdae has been fighting with you? Has he been physically hurting you?”

Minseok nodded. He couldn’t find any words because he was too mortified. He knew that Jongdae had definitely poisoned him the previous night and the thought made him want to cry.  
 “Have you had any unexplainable feelings of irritability? Or feeling like you want to be annoyed with Jongdae?”

Minseok suddenly remembered the day when Yixing had come over for lunch. He certainly had felt a prickle of annoyance at just about everything Jongdae did even though he had no reason for it.

 “That’s a part of its strategy. It wants to break down your spirit and your happiness to such a point that you’ll have no will to fight it. I think it initially tried to influence you to get you to start picking fights with Jongdae, but it was probably easier to make Jongdae do it instead.”  
 “But…but why can’t Jongdae fight it?” he mumbled. “He’s not a weak person.”  
 “There’s a difference between weakness and vulnerability,” Yixing said gently. “Jongdae seems to have been fighting is unconsciously. Think of it as his real self being trapped in a state of sleep.”

Suddenly flashes of Minseok’s dreams came back to him with startling clarity.

 _Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
_Through the foyer and left into the kitchen. Then right into the parlour and back to the stairs._  
_Back to the stairs._

The house and Jongdae and the presence of something horrible all came back to him and he gasped.

 “My dreams! I’ve-I’ve had these awful dreams about Jongdae being trapped in that house,” he stammered. Yixing frowned.  
 “I think Jongdae is reaching out to you in your sleep,” he said.  
 “But I’m not psychic or anything,” Minseok scoffed.  
 “It’s not that. You two just share a very close bond,” Yixing said with a small smile. “He knows that you’re there even though he doesn’t know exactly where he is.”

Minseok ran his hands through his unkempt hair. He was finding it all too difficult to believe. Either Yixing was insane or they both were and he didn’t know what to feel at the moment.

 “Well…if he really is being possessed then how can I help him?” he asked after a moment of silence.  
 “I have to perform an exorcism,” Yixing said gravely. “And a strong one too.”  
 “Why are you helping me?” Minseok asked, sudden suspicion creeping into his being.

Yixing gave him the most stunning dimpled smile and the room even seemed to brighten.  
 “I know how it feels to be an outsider. I think of you as my friend, Minseok,” he said warmly.

Minseok didn’t know what to say. The concept of friends and warm smiles seemed foreign to him. All he had known for the past week was fear and anxiety.  
 “Do the people here know…what you do?” he asked. Yixing nodded.  
 “That’s why a lot of people don’t really want anything to do with me,” he said with a shrug. “But I’m used to it.”

Minseok thought that it was a great injustice that someone as selfless and kind as Yixing should be subjected to ostracism. All he could do was give his hand a brief squeeze and nod.

 “So…how are we going to do this exorcism?” he asked though he hardly believed his own words. Yixing sat forward and now looked very serious.  
 “It has to be done in the house so that I can contain the spirit there and cleanse the place,” he said.  
 “But how on earth will I get him there? I doubt he’d just follow me there,” Minseok said.

Yixing got up and rummaged through a very antique-looking chest of drawers before sitting back down. He placed a small syringe on the table.  
 “This is a natural but strong sedative of my own making,” he said. “You’ll have to use it on him and then we can take him to the house.”  
 “How will we get him there?”  
 “I have a car,” Yixing said. “But now the thing is that I have to do a lot of preparation and cleansing for this ritual. We can do it tomorrow, but will you be able to stand spending another night with him?”

Minseok shuddered at the thought of leaving Yixing’s cosy apartment and going back to Jongdae and the stench of cigarettes. He didn’t even know if he could still refer to him as Jongdae anymore.

 “I don’t really have a choice, do I?” he muttered.  
 “Be strong, Minseok. Be strong for Jongdae,” Yixing said kindly. “You should probably get going now. I’ll drop you off.”

Minseok followed Yixing with heavy footsteps out the apartment. He owned a very dilapidated car and the engine made some questionable ratting sounds as they drove down the road. Minseok wrung his hands in his lap nervously.

 “Remember – it’s not Jongdae,” Yixing said. “It’s merely using Jongdae to get to you. Don’t believe what it says.”  
Minseok thought that it was easier said than done, and as much as he tried he was still finding it very difficult to wrap his head around the notion of possession.

But what other explanation was there for Jongdae’s strange behaviour? If he truly was possessed then it meant that everything he’d said had been a lie.

It meant that Minseok wasn’t a burden to him. That sparked a small glimmer of hope in his heart.

The car came to a stop outside the apartment and Minseok glanced up at the darkened windows with a sense of dread.  
 “Be strong, Minseok,” Yixing said softly.  
 “Thanks for everything, Yixing,” he replied. “Really.”

Yixing smiled at him and Minseok nodded before he got out the car.

He took his time in ascending the stairs to the apartment. His stomach was twisted in a knot of anxiety as he unlocked the door and entered.

The lights suddenly turned on and Jongdae appeared out of nowhere and he jumped back against the closed door.

 “Where were you?” he asked. He looked even worse now as the skin around his bloodshot eyes was red. His face was deathly pale.  
 “At work,” Minseok said and he kept his eyes on the floor. “I had to work overtime.”  
 “Then you would have finished an hour ago. Don’t lie to me.”  
 “I was,” Minseok said and he quickly darted around to try and get past Jongdae but suddenly he grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him against the wall with such force that he nearly fell over.

 “Someone dropped you off. Who was it?” he barked. His fingernails were digging into Minseok’s shoulders and he tried not to slump down against the wall.  
 “Yixing,” he gasped.

He couldn’t bear to look into Jongdae’s eyes because they were nothing like Jongdae’s eyes. They were narrowed and bloodshot and burning with nothing but malice and threatened to pierce through Minseok’s skull with their glare.

 “Look at me when you speak to me!”  
He grabbed Minseok’s chin and forced his head up. His fingers were cold and his nails pressed sharply into his skin. Minseok felt his hands trembling as he was forced to meet Jongdae’s hateful gaze.

 “Yixing?” he scoffed. “Why would you talk to anyone else when you have me? You can’t even communicate with anyone other than me! The only person you have in this place is me. You’re nothing without me, Minseok.”

Despite his fear a sudden spark of anger surged through him. The fact that something was using Jongdae so say such hateful words made him angry and he pushed him in the chest so hard that he stumbled backwards.

_It’s not Jongdae.  
Jongdae would never say that._

But then his face twisted into a snarl and he lunged at Minseok and grabbed a fistful of his hair and slammed his head against the wall. He cried out but he couldn’t push Jongdae away from him as he forced all of his weight on him to pin him against the wall.

 “You fucking bastard,” he snarled. “Don’t you dare push me again.” His breath reeked of cigarettes but he wouldn’t let Minseok look away from him and forced his head still by pulling at his hair.  
 “From now on if you’re one minute late from work I’ll get mad. Do you understand?”  
Minseok nodded quickly.

Jongdae moved his face close to his and it was almost as though he was inhaling his scent and Minseok flinched and shut his eyes. Then he wrenched his head back so that it hit the wall before he let go and stepped away.

 “You’re pathetic, you know that?” he spat. “Get out of my sight.”

Minseok darted past him and locked himself in the bathroom. He sank down onto the tiles and tried to steady his breathing and the fight urge to throw up. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of Yixing’s words.

 _It’s not Jongdae. It’s not Jongdae. It’s not Jongdae._  
_He won’t kill me. He won’t kill me._  
_I need to calm down. Calm down._  
_I need to save Jongdae._

Minseok sat in the bath with his knees drawn to his chest. The water was still warm but he shivered slightly. The air was so cold. So unnaturally cold. Walking into the apartment had felt like walking into an underground tomb.

_I need to save Jongdae.  
I love Jongdae so much. _

A tear rolled down his cheek but he brushed it away. He couldn’t afford to be an emotional wreck with the threat of a malicious spirit on the other side of the bathroom door. He clutched onto his necklace as if it were a rosary and swallowed down his emotions.

He only got out the bath when the water started to turn cold and then he just sat on the edge of the tub in his towel. It was past midnight by now and he felt absolutely exhausted but Minseok was too afraid to sleep.

He was starting to shiver so he reluctantly left the bathroom. He was glad that Jongdae wasn’t in the bedroom so he could get dressed in peace, but it was short-lived because he appeared out of nowhere and brought the smell of cigarettes with him.

 “Why are you still awake? Don’t you know that you have to go to work tomorrow to put food on the fucking table?”  
 “Sorry,” Minseok mumbled, keeping his eyes averted.

He curled up in a foetal position on the bed with his back to Jongdae but he absolutely would not allow himself to fall asleep. He felt Jongdae’s eyes burning into his back. Every time he started to feel drowsy he would pinch himself. He knew that his thighs were etched with red marks from pinching himself but it was the least of his concerns.

Minseok just willed himself to think of Jongdae’s smile. He remembered when they had once viewed blossoms in the spring in Seoul and how he had looked like absolutely radiant as he stood under the tree with a bright smile.

He thought of Jongdae when he would write songs. His determined mask of concentration and the way his eyes lit up when he thought of a new lyric. He remembered the times when Jongdae had woken him up before dawn, filled with inspiration and excitement and wanting to share his composition with Minseok.

He remembered how Jongdae would cling to him in bed and how he would tickle his skin with sweet murmurings and whispers. He remembered their first kiss in their first year of university. Jongdae had been so incredibly shy when he had confessed to Minseok.

But it felt like Jongdae was dead. He had died beside Minseok in his sleep and been replaced with a monster who looked like him and used his voice to hurt him. He clutched the necklace tightly.

 _It’s not Jongdae._  
_Jongdae needs to be saved._  
_I will save him. I need to save him._

* * *

Minseok trembled as he walked up the stairs with Yixing close behind him.  
 “I’ll be right outside, okay?” he said softly. “Don’t be afraid.”  
Minseok was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Only coffee and his anxiety kept him awake.

Yixing stopped a few metres away from the door and watched as Minseok approached it. He reluctantly entered the apartment and closed the door quietly without locking it. The lights were on but it was as cold as it was outside. He gripped the syringe tightly within his jacket pocket.

 “Minseok.”

Jongdae had emerged from the bedroom holding a cigarette between his fingers. Minseok had to somehow get close to him without arousing suspicion or causing him to put up a fight. But, as much as it pained him, he knew that the easiest way to get in close proximity to Jongdae would be to provoke him.

 “Don’t smoke in the house,” Minseok said wearily. Jongdae merely scowled at him and dropped the cigarette in the sink.

 “I give up so much for you, you know?” he said. Then Minseok noticed something on the countertop that Jongdae was kneading with his knuckles. It was a thick slice of raw meat.  
 “I have to feed myself because you’re too fucking useless,” he said. He picked up a knife from the filthy sink and cut a sliver of the meat and raised it up to his mouth.

That was enough to shock Minseok out of his fear and he lunged forward.  
 “Stop it! You’ll make him sick!” he cried and he tried to wrestle the meat out of his hands. He succeeded in ripping it away and pushing the meat off the counter and it hit the floor. Jongdae’s scowl deepened.

 “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he snarled. He gripped the knife tightly in his hand. Some courage surged through Minseok and he scowled and stood his ground.  
 “You’re not Jongdae! You’re destroying his body!”

Rage flashed through his eyes and he hit Minseok hard across the face. He stumbled over in shock but was unable to regain his footing as Jongdae hit him again and forced him down and pinned him to the floor with his fingers wound tightly around his throat.

 “Oh, you’ve finally noticed!” he shouted. “Your precious Jongdae hasn’t been here for a while, has he?”  
His face twisted into a grotesque grin and Minseok gasped for air before he released his grip on his throat. He tore open his shirt and held the bloody knife against his chest.  
 “Kill me then!” he shrieked. “Go on, Minseok! You hate me, right?”

He grabbed Minseok’s hand and forced it against the knife. He pressed the blade against his skin and hissed when it started to draw blood. Minseok couldn’t move his hand and could only watch in horror.

 “But you can’t kill me, right? Because then he’ll die too!” he yelled. “But don’t worry; he’s so weak now that he might as well be dead.”  

He tossed the knife aside and it hit he tiles with a clatter. He pinned Minseok’s arm above his head and leaned over him, pressing all his weight on him so that it became difficult for him to breathe. His hand gripping the syringe was trapped in his pocket and he could hardly move. Now the stench of raw meat overpowered that of cigarettes and Minseok turned his face away. But Jongdae grabbed his chin and forced his head to turn back and look at him, his nails digging into the same marks from the previous night.

 “And when he dies then I can have you,” he said in a low voice. “I wanted you first, you know. The moment you walked into my house and I caught your scent – the scent of fear and doubt – I wanted to feed off it so badly. Your soul is so fragile. Just as delicate as you.”

He slowly moved his fingers to stroke Minseok’s cheek and he shuddered. His fingertips brushed against the growing bruise before he pressed hard against it and Minseok winced.

 “But it seemed that your Jongdae had a lot of repressed worry,” he continued, his eyes roaming Minseok’s face hungrily. They were so bloodshot that they were almost red.  
 “It’s a shame, really. He cares so much about you. I had such fun hurting you with his voice,” he said and his vile grin had returned.

Minseok squirmed beneath him but it was of no use.  
 “Do you remember that I tried to possess you in the house? I made you say things you didn’t mean.”  
Minseok remembered to when he had snapped at Jongdae in the house. It had felt so unnatural and unexplainable to him but now he knew why.  
 “But then stupid Jongdae fell down the stairs and lost consciousness. He put up a good fight, though.”

He leaned even closer to Minseok. The stench of his breath was awful.

 “You know I can see his thoughts and memories? You two are disgustingly in love with each other,” he said quietly.  

He shifted his weight to bend his head down and before he could make contact with Minseok he swiftly freed his arm and plunged the syringe into his neck.

He cried out and grabbed Minseok’s hand and twisted it painfully away but the sedative was now in his bloodstream. He slapped Minseok and his nails scratched his cheek but Minseok was able to push him off and scramble to his feet.

He lunged at him but his movements were slow and he was unable to force Minseok to the floor. He struggled for a moment, clawing and hitting at Minseok, before his legs gave way and he fell.

 “Yixing! Quickly!” Minseok shouted over his shoulder.

Yixing burst through the door and Jongdae tried to stand up again but his limbs were too weak.  
 “You!” he snarled. “I’ll kill you!”

But he shouted incoherently before he collapsed on his front without another sound.

 “Are you okay?” Yixing asked, looking rather worried as he took in the marks on Minseok’s face.  
 “I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with.”  
 “Here,” Yixing said and he took something out of his pocket and gave it to Minseok. “It’s a talisman. You’ll be protected in the house.”

Minseok slipped it over his neck and helped Yixing to haul Jongdae out the apartment. Whilst in the elevator they thankfully didn’t run into anyone because it would have been very difficult to explain what was going on.

They carefully laid him across the backseat of the car before Yixing sped off.

 “It’s going to be a bit intense, Minseok,” Yixing said.  
 “Will Jongdae get hurt?” he asked.  
 “Not if you’re there to keep him still while I perform the ritual. I mustn’t be interrupted at all. Do you understand? No matter how much he hurts you or if he’s in pain. I have to complete the ritual.”

Minseok nodded. His fears mingled with a slight sense of anticipation because now he was so close to getting Jongdae back to normal.

When the car stopped outside the house Minseok could barely look at it. It was an awful sight for him as he rapidly remembered his nightmares.

Minseok and Yixing carefully carried Jongdae through the long grass and up the stairs. The boards had been removed from the door and Yixing swiftly kicked it open. A gust of cold air stung Minseok’s skin and chills ran down his spine as they entered the house. It wasn’t as dark as last time as there was a faint light glowing ahead of them.

 “I came by earlier today to set up for the ritual,” Yixing explained. They carried Jongdae through the foyer and to the area before the staircase with the kitchen on the right side and the parlour on the left. It had been lit with a few small lamps.

There was a large circular symbol drawn out in chalk on the wooden floor and they laid Jongdae down in the centre. Minseok knelt down beside him and Yixing moved to sit cross-legged just outside the circle.

 “Stay in the circle,” he said. “Minseok, just be brave and don’t let the ritual be interrupted.”

Minseok nodded and realised just how dry his throat was. He avoided looking around the dark expanse of the house. He especially did not want to look up the stairs. All he could do was look at Jongdae’s face. His weight loss threw his cheekbones into sharp relief and there were more sores on his skin. With trembling fingers he brushed his fringe out of his face.

 “Right. Let’s do this, Yixing,” he whispered.

Yixing held onto a set of beads and a pendant around his neck and closed his eyes. He started speaking in Mandarin and although Minseok had no idea what he was saying it sent chills down his spine.

He continued for a few minutes before Jongdae suddenly sat up gasping and Minseok jumped. His face was twisted with rage.

 “YOU!” he shrieked but before he could lunge at Yixing Minseok quickly threw himself on top of him and pinned him to the floor. The sedative had made him weak so he couldn’t move his legs but he still tried to thrash around.

 “Get off! Stop it!” he screamed. He scratched Minseok’s arms pinning down his shoulders and he hit his face viciously. Minseok just grit his teeth and took the pain.

 “I”LL KILL YOU ALL!”

He let out a piercing scream that made Minseok flinch. Yixing was speaking faster and repetitively and Jongdae only writhed around more beneath Minseok.

 “I hate you!” he screamed and his eyes burnt into Minseok’s.  
 “Jongdae hates you! You’re killing him!”  
 “Don’t say his name!” Minseok spat. He put more weight on him but stopped himself from hurting him.

He was overwhelmed with fear, but hearing Jongdae’s name said with such venom sent a small spark of courageous rage through him.

 “It’s your fault! He got hurt because of you! You should have stopped him from coming in here in the first place!”  
 “Shut up!”

But Minseok faltered slightly and Jongdae was able to release his arms and wrap his fingers around Minseok’s throat. His grip was too strong for him to fight off. He ripped off the necklace and tossed it across the floor.

 “Minseok! It’s all because of you! You didn’t love me enough!”

Yixing was in a type of trance and his voice had grown louder and his words more erratic but Minseok couldn’t breathe or speak. Jongdae’s face changed to a feigned mask of hurt and sorrow.

 “Don’t you love me, Minseok? Why are you hurting me?”  
 “Jongdae!” he gasped. “Jongdae I know you can hear me! Fight it off!”  
 “NO!”

He released his grip and grabbed at his hair and screamed. Then Minseok felt the floor beneath them start to tremor and he heard the wood creaking and he glanced up to see dust falling from the ceiling as the house shook. But he glanced up at the staircase and there were black figures standing at the top of the stairs looming over them.

He cried out in fear. They had no discernable features but Minseok knew that they were the malicious spirits of the house. The air was incredibly heavy and it felt as though it were pressing down upon his back.

They were right there in front of them but Yixing was still in his trance and Jongdae was screaming so much that Minseok thought his ears would bleed.

 “Jongdae! Jongdae!” he cried. The figures were starting to descend the stairs and he feared that they would get to Yixing and stop the ritual and then it would all be over.

 “Listen to me! Listen to my voice!”

He took a deep shuddering breath.

“When even breathing  
Feels hard  
And tears rise up  
Sometimes  
You can hide in me and cry  
You can do that  
Because it’ll pass.”

  
Jongdae’s eyes flew open and they were wide with rage and hate. He screamed and clawed at Minseok but ignored the pain.

“Fall asleep in my arms  
Don’t wake up  
Morning will come again  
So you can peacefully dream  
At the end of this loneliness  
Just turn off the lights today.”

His voice was trembling as he sang but the effect it had on Jongdae was alarming. The more he sang the more pain he felt and he arched his back and screamed.

“When you lift your head  
Smile for me  
So you can forget your pain  
So you can fall asleep  
With the small  
But precious memories.”

The figures were coming closer now and the one of the small lamps went out as the bulb burst.

“Now you’re not alone  
Don’t feel lonely anymore  
Morning will come again  
So you can peacefully smile  
At the end of this sadness  
Just turn off the lights today.”

Minseok was shaking and he could barely keep Jongdae still anymore and he threatened to push him off.

“Like-like the clouds covering the sky  
If you get covered too  
Then you, you  
I’ll shine on you.”

The quaking off the house intensified as did Jongdae’s final scream before he fell back against the floor in silence. But the house was still shaking and Yixing was pouring sweat as he continued. All Minseok could do was bend over Jongdae and cradle his head in his arms and shut his eyes.

 “Jongdae, please, come back to me,” he whispered in a trembling voice. “Come back to your Minseok. I know you can. Follow the sound of my voice. Please. Please!”

Then Yixing gasped and the house suddenly stopped quaking. It felt as though something dark and heavy had been lifted off Minseok’s shoulders and he dared to open his eyes.

The figures on the stairs were gone. But when he looked down at Jongdae with his head still cradled in his arms he saw that he was still unconscious.

 “Minseok,” Yixing breathed. He sounded exhausted. “It’s done. It’s over.”

Minseok shakily brushed back Jongdae’s hair and inspected his face.

 “B-but why isn’t he waking up?” he whispered. He was scared that his eyes would suddenly fly open to reveal a burning glare of hate. But Jongdae was very still and breathing deeply.

 “He will wake up, don’t worry. The spirit is gone,” Yixing said softly. “I insist that we go back to my place so that I can check on him.”

At that point Minseok didn’t care where they went, just as long as they got out of that house. He helped Yixing carry Jongdae to the car and he couldn’t help but stare at him over his shoulder as they drove.

 “He’s fine, Minseok,” Yixing said but Minseok didn’t hear him.

They carried him into the apartment and laid him down on the sofa and Minseok knelt down beside him and rested his arms beside his head.

 “Minseok, I just have to go clean up the house. I won’t be long, Yixing said. “You’re welcome to help yourself to food or tea.”

He squeezed Minseok on the shoulder and all he could do was nod. He stared at Jongdae as he slept and he did not feel any sense of reassurance. He just wanted him to wake up to see that he truly was alright if he were to have any peace of mind.

Minseok felt absolutely empty. He didn’t feel anything – he didn’t even feel anxious anymore. The closest thing he felt to an emotion was just _Jongdae_. All he could think of was Jongdae and all he wanted was Jongdae. But he was so incredibly tired that he found himself drifting off as he rested his head on his arms.

 “Minseok?”

His voice less than a whisper but Minseok jumped as though he had screamed. Jongdae’s eyes were open and he was looking at him – but it wasn’t with a glare of malice.

His eyes were dark and soft and glistening in the warm glow of the room.

 “Jongdae!” Minseok gasped. “Oh, my God.”

He shakily reached out to cup his face and Jongdae blinked slowly  
 “How are you feeling?” Minseok asked.  
 “I’m so sore,” he murmured. He seemed in a bit of a daze as his eyes roamed about the room.  
 “Minseok…”

Then he suddenly tensed and his eyes widened.  
 “I…I was... _him_ ,” he gasped as he sat up. Minseok gently pushed him back down against the couch as he saw he was starting to panic.  
 “It’s alright, Jongdae. It’s over. You’re fine now,” he said softly as he stroked his arm.

But Jongdae’s lower lip trembled and tears fell from his eyes.  
 “I was gone, Minseok,” he mumbled. “Something had taken me. My body…”  
 “You…you were possessed,” Minseok murmured. “But it’s gone now. Yixing saved you.”

He gently wiped Jongdae’s tears with the edge of his sleeve but he was growing more upset.  
 “I’m remembering everything now,” he cried in a quivering voice. “You – I hurt you!”  
 “Jongdae, it wasn’t you,” Minseok said. But now he felt his own eyes tearing up.  
 “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed as his eyes flitted over the marks on Minseok’s face.  
 “Minseok I’m so sorry.”

Minseok didn’t even flinch as his trembling fingers brushed against the bruises and scratches on his skin because his touch was warm and gentle. It was no longer the awful touch of cold hard fingertips. 

Minseok was too emotional to find any words so he just scrambled onto the couch and pulled Jongdae up into a tight hug. He cried into his shoulder and Minseok gently stroked his back as his own tears fell.

Jongdae pulled away after a while and wiped his eyes.  
 “You know, I heard you,” he sniffed. “Singing to me. I-I could hear you in…in that dark place.”  
 “It was your song,” Minseok murmured. “I knew you’d recognise it.”

He brushed away his tears and took in his appearance. He was already regaining some colour in his face but he still looked awful. He was immensely relieved that he was alright but he was now concerned about his health. But Minseok was exhausted. All he could do was just sit and hold Jongdae in his arms in silence. He listened to his soft breathing and felt the beating of his heart against his own chest.

 “Minseok?”  
 “Hmm?”

Jongdae pulled away and his eyes roamed his face.  
 “You know…Baekhyun is never going to believe us when we tell him,” he said with a small smile. Minseok thought he had misheard him then a small laugh erupted from his throat.  
 “Jongdae, only you can make a joke at a moment like this,” he said but Jongdae’s smile faded as quickly as it had appeared. He seemed at a loss for words and all Minseok could do was hold him close.

A while later Yixing returned.

 “Ah, I’m glad to see you’re up,” he said to Jongdae. “Please sit down,” he added when Jongdae tried to get up.  
 “Yixing, I-I don’t even know what to say,” he stammered. Yixing shook his head with a dismissive wave of his hands. Then he approached Minseok and placed something in his hands. He saw that it was the necklace. Even though the chain was broken Minseok was glad to have it back.    
 “Yixing, you’ve done so much for us,” he said.  
 “You don’t have to say anything,” he said warmly. “I’ll make you some tea.”

Minseok watched him amble around the kitchen producing cups and a kettle. Jongdae gingerly moved around to look at Yixing.

 “Yixing…what happened to me?” he asked. “Minseok, you said I was _possessed_?”

Minseok held his hand tightly and met his eyes. He really didn’t know how to even begin explaining the whole thing to Jongdae so he was relieved when Yixing explained. As Jongdae listened his eyes grew wider and wider in disbelief.

 “You know, if I didn’t remember being…being in that place then I wouldn’t believe you,” he muttered after a moment of silence.  
 “I was trapped in this darkness. I couldn’t see anything but I knew that I wasn’t asleep somehow,” he said. Minseok squeezed his hand in reassurance as he saw Jongdae’s eyebrows furrow.  
 “It’s over, Jongdae. For good,” Yixing said gently. “The family who lived in that house were very unhappy. I don’t know the details, but they ended up murdering each other. But it’s over now. You mustn’t dwell on such trauma. It won’t do you any good.”  
 “My nightmares make sense now,” Jongdae said with a small shudder.  
 “Have some tea. Would you like something to eat as well?” Yixing said as he offered them cups of hot tea.

Jongdae drank feverishly, ignoring the heat because he was famished. Minseok was rather concerned about him but Yixing quickly whipped up a three-course meal out of nowhere.

 “I think you need to go to the doctor,” Minseok said as he watched Jongdae eat.  
 “Though I have no idea how we’d even begin to explain any of this.”  
 “I’ll take care of him, Minseok,” Yixing said. “You two should just relax and eat for now.”

Yixing rummaged through the collection of drawers in the room gathering phials and little boxes.

 “Herbal medication is the best for recovering,” Yixing explained as he set out the herbs for Jongdae. He was more focused on eating and drinking but he nodded at Yixing anyway.  
 “So there wasn’t anything…too damaging?” Minseok asked hesitantly.  
 “Those marks on his body may scar but otherwise no,” Yixing said. “So cheer up, Minseok.”

Jongdae turned to look at Minseok and gave him a smile.  
 “Cheer up, Minseok,” he said through a mouthful of food. Ordinarily Minseok would have hit him lightly on the arm for mocking him but now he merely sighed and held his hand.

A calm silence fell over them for a while.  
 “Yixing…thank you so much,” Minseok murmured.  
 “How can we even thank you?” Jongdae asked. “You saved our lives.”  
 “You really don’t need to,” Yixing said with a small laugh. “I don’t mind helping my friends.”

Jongdae got up and reached across the table to pull Yixing into a haphazard hug, but as he was still rather weak his legs faltered and he nearly brought the man with him as he fell back onto the couch.

 “Don’t be reckless, Jongdae,” Minseok said anxiously but Yixing laughed.  
 “Sorry,” Jongdae said with a sheepish smile. “But, really, thank you, Yixing.”

Minseok watched Jongdae eat for a while longer until he had eaten everything there was to eat. He noticed that he was already a bit better than when he had just woken up and he was starting to doze off on his shoulder.

 “I’ll drive you both back,” Yixing said. “I’d let you stay but I don’t have enough room for the both of you.”  
 “Thanks, Yixing,” Minseok said. He helped Jongdae to his feet and threw an arm around him for support.  
 “I also stopped by to clean your apartment because I thought you wouldn’t want to back to it given the mess it was in,” Yixing said lightly.

Minseok nearly released his grip on Jongdae and they both stumbled.  
 “What?”  
 “Yixing – “  
 “It’s nothing,” Yixing said over their spluttering. “Please don’t say anything more about it!”

Minseok sat in the back so that Jongdae could rest against him and he was silent as they drove. He was still in the midst of processing everything and was focused on getting Jongdae to bed. Only then could he let his mind relax and breathe a heavy sigh of relief.

Yixing helped Minseok to lead Jongdae up the stairs and he was shocked to see how different the apartment looked. The kitchen was spotless and all traces of cigarette smoke were gone. It was as though the past week hadn’t happened. Minseok was at a loss for words so all he could do was pull Yixing into a tight hug. He felt Jongdae clumsily throw his arms around the both of them and all three of them nearly toppled over in the small entranceway.

 “Thank you so much, Yixing,” Jongdae said softly.  
 “You’ve both said that enough today,” Yixing chuckled. He detached himself from Minseok’s grip and regarded him and Jongdae with fond smiles.  
 “Minseok, don’t come in to work tomorrow. I’ll cover for you, okay?”

Minseok was stunned but when he opened his mouth to protest Yixing held up a finger to silence him and suddenly looked very stern.  
 “I’m serious. You need to rest as well!” he said. If Minseok had the energy he would have laughed at how serious Yixing looked. He patted Jongdae’s head and clasped Minseok’s hand.

 “I’ll be off, then. I’ll come around tomorrow to check on you, okay?” he said.  
 “Bye, Yixing,” Minseok and Jongdae chorused softly. Yixing gave them a dimpled smile before leaving and closing the door behind him. They stared at the closed door for a moment in silence.

 “I really need to shower,” Jongdae murmured.  
 “You’ll slip. I’ll run you a bath,” Minseok said. Jongdae was still leaning heavily against him with an arm wrapped around his middle.

They both sat on the floor in silence watching the water run from the tap. Jongdae held tightly onto Minseok’s hand and as he stared at the water there was a slightly glazed look in his eyes. Minseok wordlessly helped him undress and climb into the bath. He winced as the hot water came into contact with the sores and cuts on his torso but he was otherwise silent. It pained Minseok to see how thin Jongdae had become but he knew he would recover.

Minseok was starting to doze off as he sat against the wall until he heard Jongdae humming and he sat up straight. It was faint and slightly off-key but he was humming the song he wrote.

The song that he had written in the middle of the night while citing Minseok as his inspiration. The song that he’d completed next to Minseok in the icy air of the park even though he wasn’t entirely well. Minseok looked up and saw the familiar soft expression on his face that he wore whenever he sang and he felt his heart swell with affection. He wanted to express it but he didn’t want to interrupt Jongdae so he remained silent. He was silent as he quickly washed his face in the sink, not even noticing how his own cuts pained him because he was so concentrated on the sound of Jongdae’s soft humming.

Minseok said nothing as he helped him dry off and change into a pair of his own pyjamas. They both practically collapsed on the bed and Minseok pulled the duvet and blankets over them.

 “They’re a bit small,” Jongdae said with a smirk. “Just like you.”  
 “Just like me,” Minseok murmured. He sat up on his elbow and swept Jongdae’s hair out of his face to reveal the fading cut on his forehead. It was barely noticeable compared to the other marks on his face, but at his eyes were clear and warm and soft and in contrast made it look as though the marks were already starting to fade. Minseok trailed his hand down Jongdae’s cheek and he leaned into his touch. He gently brushed his fingertips from his chin down his neck to the centre of his chest, hovering near the cut from the knife. Jongdae reached up to take his hand and press his palm against his chest and the wound and Minseok felt his slow yet steady heartbeat.

 “It’s my fault…all of this,” Jongdae murmured.  
 “It’s nobody’s fault,” Minseok replied. Jongdae’s grip tightened around his hand and he sniffed and Minseok looked up from their hands to see him blinking away the tears glistening in the corners of his eyes. Minseok had never been good at expressing himself but now he just allowed the words to flow without thinking too much about what he was saying.

 “Jongdae, don’t blame yourself. I mean, that’s how…how it happened, isn’t it? Please don’t doubt yourself. I mean, it’s okay to worry and all of that but please just don’t repress it because then it only gets worse. If you’re worried or sad then it’s fine because you’re not alone. We came here together, Jongdae. I’ll always stay with you.”

Minseok felt slightly breathless as he had spoken in a rush but Jongdae had heard him because he stared at him with an unreadable expression. A tear escaped his eye and rolled down his cheek and Minseok brushed it away.

 “Thank you, Minseok,” Jongdae whispered. He managed a small smile.  
 “I love you so much more than what you know,” Minseok murmured.

He lay down beside Jongdae and pulled him close.  
 “I mustn’t cry. Everything’s fine now,” Jongdae said softly. “We’re alright, aren’t we? You found Yixing…”  
 “More like Yixing found me,” Minseok said, smiling as he thought of his friend. “Maybe he can teach me some Mandarin.”  
 “Hmm,” Jongdae hummed. “You know, we still never managed to get a new rice cooker.”

Minseok’s brain short-circuited for a moment before he realised what Jongdae was actually talking about and he burst out laughing. Jongdae joined him until they were breathless and clutching their sides. He felt giddy despite his exhaustion and nuzzled his face into Jongdae’s neck.

 “I’m so happy you’re here, Jongdae,” he whispered. “I’m so happy to be with you.”  
 “I’ll always be with you, Minseok,” Jongdae murmured.

Calm silence fell over them and Minseok felt his breathing synchronise with Jongdae’s and his eyes started to close. He took in his warmth and his scent against his own body and tranquillity washed over his being.

Minseok knew that no matter how dire things were he would always have Jongdae. Minseok knew that their souls were bound together by the strength of their friendship and affection and love. He knew that even in the heart of darkness he would find Jongdae there and they would make it through together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was slightly depressing to write, but I've been in a horror mood for the longest time even though I'm weak and scared of everything lmao.  
> Hope everyone enjoyed reading this ~  
> (I apologise for any typos, I've proofread it a million times but I may have missed a few things)

**Author's Note:**

> The song is 'Lights Out' because damn I love that song. The title is from HIM's song "Love's Requiem".


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